deepundergroundpoetry.com
In my head
I do not want him
In my head
No more this horridpresence
Putrescence
Everywhere I look
I see
Evidence of his debauchery
Lurking within me
Even now
So many years have come between
Yet his mark is upon me still
Will I never be free wholly
Of everything he's done to me
And in me
On me
Upon me
I wish these troublesome remembrances gone forevermore
Such visceral memory
Loathsome sentimentality?
Hateful causality (casualty) calamity
Ughhhhh
Such proper language
for such improper behavior
by my repugnant English teacher
Irony of greatest ironies
I am his creature through and through
Molded by him carefully, he resides inside my head today
No matter how I strive to
Eradicate
Desecrate
Desiccate
Eviscerate
Vindicate
Shunt away
No, there he is - remaining
In my head
Embedded in my very pores
Fucking - no, not quite, really, rather, instead
Molesting me
Relentlessly
Published 17th Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 18
reading list entries 0
comments 20
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The author encourages honest critique.
17th Aug 2015 5:45am
17th Aug 2015 6:10am
Oh babydoll. Everything hes done to you in you on you upon you. What is it with f ing english teachers. Had a similar experience with mine, though i think it sounds yours did much more damage.
(I am fond of most all of mine so please no offense to any who might be reading).
This was a healthy and poignant wite Savaja. In my opinion. Get that shit out of your head and express it. Its brave and it helps others and i hope helps heal your obvious wounds. A 💋 kiss for them.
As always. Amazed by you.
Jennifer
(I am fond of most all of mine so please no offense to any who might be reading).
This was a healthy and poignant wite Savaja. In my opinion. Get that shit out of your head and express it. Its brave and it helps others and i hope helps heal your obvious wounds. A 💋 kiss for them.
As always. Amazed by you.
Jennifer
17th Aug 2015 8:32pm
Thank you for your commiseration, calamitygin, luv. :-*
Your kiss is appreciated.
Your kiss is appreciated.
17th Aug 2015 6:16am
Very interesting, I am beginning to
learn that one needs to hold
on for the ride when reading
your ink, Miss!
What a trip.
k2m
learn that one needs to hold
on for the ride when reading
your ink, Miss!
What a trip.
k2m
17th Aug 2015 6:16am
it speaks for all those who've gone thru such tragedy. properly expunged...
17th Aug 2015 7:19am
Palpable Savaja...there's no easy answer to your situation other than you are exterminating 'it' in the best possible way...writing 'it' away....bit by bit...
17th Aug 2015 12:35pm
You're being the voice for the victims that won't speak up. Being raped or molested is horrible memories that never EVER disappear! Thanks for the read! 💕Sissy
17th Aug 2015 12:42pm
This made me think of the scandals that rocked the Catholic Church not so long ago, and a vaunted private school here in NYC, Horace Mann. It tears at my core that people would defile the sacred trust of children.
Powerful piece, gut wrenching.
Powerful piece, gut wrenching.
I didn't interpret this as someone who had molested you in the physical sense (maybe it's because you referred to him being in your head), but an English teacher who pounded correct grammar and an expanded vocabulary that has become one of your writing trademarks. And perhaps even today when you'd like to get a little sloppy with writing the memory haunts you and you can't.
I don't know. I just know it's well written and I had an English teacher like that once. We called her "Beast Beason" because she was relentless in making us better. And because of that she will always remain one of my best remembered teachers, although her memory haunts me at times. Especially when I get a little sloppy...
If that's not the case then I apologize and agree completely with San Pedro.
p.s. - thank you for the beautiful note. it touched my heart.
17th Aug 2015 3:16pm
I agree with Kate. Writing is the perfect catharsis. Your life is yours to mold and shape and he is no longer welcome. I love the vulnerability in this piece...continue to discover the wonder that is you. Bravisima mia bella poeta!
17th Aug 2015 4:16pm
the unwanted advances
carry a baleful influence
long after one has
repelled them...
carry a baleful influence
long after one has
repelled them...
17th Aug 2015 5:57pm
Anonymous
17th Aug 2015 6:35pm
I wish I had words of wisdom for this piece but all I see is strength. . .Well penned, Miss Savaja. . .xoxo, Devlin;)
17th Aug 2015 7:48pm
Feed on it for your writings then it may, lessen in scale with time. Hugs to you Savaja.
17th Aug 2015 9:46pm
This is a obviously a painful memory, Savaja. I initially thought this was about physical molestation until I read Ahavati's remark above. It could be intellectual. I've had plenty of English teachers who were tyrants wielding an English Style Guide. That can be crippling, destructive to every effort towards spontaneity. Either way, the guy's a monster of differing magnitudes, but if it's physical I hope he was brought up on charges. This is therapeutic writing, and truly fine. .
18th Aug 2015 00:45am
"Get ridda da bum.........you deserve Better"
heavy wit self-loathsomeness
my love to you
heavy wit self-loathsomeness
my love to you
18th Aug 2015 1:58pm
As dark as this is... It's brilliant in it's presentation, n yea it's not surprising
becuz I learned right away that U are nothing short of a pure poetic force!
becuz I learned right away that U are nothing short of a pure poetic force!
11th Apr 2016 7:37pm
it is sad that people can see vulnerability & take advantage instead of helping.....when i was in school i was known as an enforcer....if someone tried to take advantage of someone else..especially the weak i would put a stop to it...& the school & the teachers let me....made them not responcible...and people with bad intent feared me....i don't know why i didn't think this was the normal feelings for a soon to be man...guess my heart has always been bigger than my brain
