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the alpha of deeds
(based on ‘tumbling hair’ by E. E. Cummings)
she came often to this fragrant field, this smiling little girl
with golden hair tumbling as she skipped. the buttercups &
violets welcomed her. the daisies, despite their ill tempers,
were almost joyful to give up their lives to her hand.
this was her alpha, to gather these small gifts of nature &
share them with others. her village was blessed with peace,
and no evil occurred there or in this field.
but on this day, another was there, watching. the sorrow in his
eyes gave testament to his regret, his compulsion. he had seen
her before, alone & unprotected, in this field, & his terrible hunger
was conceived & grew.
it was not his fault, he assured himself. It was the command of the
‘demon’ within that ruled him. like Pontius Pilate, he washed his hands
of his guilt, as he pursued his alpha, & committed his fatal deed…
the angels observed this deed, as they observed all deeds on this
revolving planet. but they were present only to bear witness, they
were not permitted to interfere. being gentle creatures, their witnessing
made them weep, & their tears became the cold rain that coats
the earth.
that beautiful things grow, nourished by that rain,
is the irony of it.
and the fragrant fields of beautiful things, the daisies & buttercups,
will attract other little girls. and those little girls, who are made of
innocence & purity & the illusion that nothing bad will ever happen,
will attract other monsters.
this is our story as we know it.
(Art: Janaina Medeiros)
Published 4th Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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4th Aug 2015 8:22pm
Mm, sweetie. Saw it happening, cringed not wanting it to. That safety is an illusion and that we breed our monsters there. Sobering thought. Powerful John, as always. 💋
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
4th Aug 2015 8:30pm
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4th Aug 2015 8:46pm
Dream-like quality and chilling reality made this a very tense read for me. Great writing poet.
I just read Cummings poem and you've done him proud ... Actually you've done him one better with the tableau you've painted so eloquently ... Bravo!!!
I never interpreted his poem in that way. I always interpreted it as the universe bringing together two sorrowful individuals that they find one another, and joy within the naked beauty of nature as they were born. This is a brave rendition on a truth stemming through history. "We covet what we see..."
4th Aug 2015 9:22pm
Why are you two (You and E.E. Cummings) picking on daisies? (Get it? Picking on daisies...? Har har) :P
Ill-tempered bullies?? I always considered daisies to be rather bold and jovial.
Sad irony, though...and beautiful piece. I could really imagine that pretty field with a wolf crouching between the flower stalks.
Ill-tempered bullies?? I always considered daisies to be rather bold and jovial.
Sad irony, though...and beautiful piece. I could really imagine that pretty field with a wolf crouching between the flower stalks.
5th Aug 2015 00:53am
despite the 'ugliness' that is to be found in this piece John, your words have woven a most beautiful story about life....the good and the bad...the beautiful and the ugly....the spiritual and the secular...you are a master storyteller.... :)
5th Aug 2015 5:43am
"being gentle creatures, their witnessing
made them weep, & their tears became the cold rain that coats
the earth."
~purity in weeping form is perfect here.. your wording makes one almost weep along with!
"that beautiful things grow, nourished by that rain,
is the irony of it."
~fertilization must continue.. from the weeping rain for lost innocence.
lovely thoughts SirJ..the landscape still held more whimsy than monster for me..
great night to you,
~d
made them weep, & their tears became the cold rain that coats
the earth."
~purity in weeping form is perfect here.. your wording makes one almost weep along with!
"that beautiful things grow, nourished by that rain,
is the irony of it."
~fertilization must continue.. from the weeping rain for lost innocence.
lovely thoughts SirJ..the landscape still held more whimsy than monster for me..
great night to you,
~d
Anonymous
5th Aug 2015 6:27am
JFeddeler, penning out of your comfort zone suits you just fine. . .An excellent, dark and slightly erotic piece!. . .Enjoyed. . .xoxo, Devlin;)
5th Aug 2015 6:03pm
5th Aug 2015 9:37pm
There's darkness at the heart of this, particularly with the angels only bearing witness. No breaking the cycle unless little girls can be warned, but even then they go out to play. Excellent!
6th Aug 2015 00:27am
Not being an idealist in any way this powerful and honest poem calls it as it is John...a dark and wonderful write.
Cheers...Harry
Cheers...Harry
12th Aug 2015 00:38am
20th Aug 2015 7:01am
