deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dependence Day
Hopelessness isn't curable with placating chemical friends
Dependence on pills shackles my brain to survive unalive
Depression, diabetes and blood pressure up to the sky
Ain't the kind of high these drugs crave to satisfy
You can't fool the mind forever with fireworks in gray
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day
Phantoms forming meaningless memories I'd rather forget
I'm so tired of repeating every damn breathe I regret
If only it were addiction that I could blame for this slide
12 steps to recover pave the walk towards redemptive suicide
Dependence on pills shackles my brain to survive unalive
Depression, diabetes and blood pressure up to the sky
Ain't the kind of high these drugs crave to satisfy
You can't fool the mind forever with fireworks in gray
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day
Phantoms forming meaningless memories I'd rather forget
I'm so tired of repeating every damn breathe I regret
If only it were addiction that I could blame for this slide
12 steps to recover pave the walk towards redemptive suicide
Published 5th Jul 2015
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5th Jul 2015 5:12am
"You can't fool the mind forever with fireworks in gray
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day
Phantoms forming meaningless memories I'd rather forget
I'm so tired of repeating every damn breathe I regret" <~~fav line
~not diabetic, but gawds.. repeating every breath is becoming a flecking chore if just
for my pain/meds. see the other takes that cud
apply here as well.
"redemptive suicide"
~best phrase of my yr, man..like lotts
hugs JJ, cuz I get this in plenty. great write!
~d/T
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day
Phantoms forming meaningless memories I'd rather forget
I'm so tired of repeating every damn breathe I regret" <~~fav line
~not diabetic, but gawds.. repeating every breath is becoming a flecking chore if just
for my pain/meds. see the other takes that cud
apply here as well.
"redemptive suicide"
~best phrase of my yr, man..like lotts
hugs JJ, cuz I get this in plenty. great write!
~d/T
5th Jul 2015 7:37am
Thank you for commenting d/T. I understand why you do but I wish you could not. [[hugs]] jj
5th Jul 2015 12:58pm
"You can't fool the mind forever with fireworks in gray
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day " <--- You and me both, friend.
Know the dependence you speak of here, the shackles and chains that cut into the soul, not the skin, with the knowledge that without we would absolutely be dead. So many times I have pondered just stopping taking the meds, so things could be as they should be... yet I wait, in the imitation reality they grant me, if never really knowing why.
Michael
And the freedom I seek lurks beyond my last end of day " <--- You and me both, friend.
Know the dependence you speak of here, the shackles and chains that cut into the soul, not the skin, with the knowledge that without we would absolutely be dead. So many times I have pondered just stopping taking the meds, so things could be as they should be... yet I wait, in the imitation reality they grant me, if never really knowing why.
Michael
5th Jul 2015 4:21pm
Exactly! Thank you for commenting Michael. I have often thought this when I heard about someone refusing treatment for one fatal disease or other. Sometimes because the treatment is worse than the disease or sometimes they, or there family has some religious belief against using some unnatural form of life retention. Had I been able to get the medications I take now before I had a stroke, I would never have had the stroke in the first place. Then OBama Care kicked in and I can stay alive for who knows how long, wondering if it is really suicide if I choose to cease the medications and live to my natural end. I'm really not sure if it is a desire o live or a fear of dying that keeps me consuming these double edged swords. Hmm, that would make a good line in the poem, I might just add that... jj
9th Jul 2015 12:28pm
This is just to say that, doing drugs can only satisfy you for a while, just to feel numb so you won't have to experience the pain.
9th Jul 2015 5:10pm
I am well aware of that. I don't do drugs, I take medications prescribed by doctors for medical conditions. Those medications keep me alive, so I am dependent on them. If I stop taking my meds, I will die. Some of those meds mess with my mind. That creates the paradox that this poem is about. JJ
12th Jul 2015 1:06pm
"I'm so tired of repeating every damn breathe I regret "
No words to say just how much I think this line is perfect. Thank you
No words to say just how much I think this line is perfect. Thank you
27th Aug 2015 12:22pm
When the grand finale explodes to finally silence my howling soul
So conveniently misplacing my bag of medicinal gold
Most unWisely consuming a salty sack of potatoes fried in oil
Then a side of cholesterol shells cracked open after they boil
Chased with raspberry zingers leaves just one final ale to brew
As I wash my last meal down with a pint of Mountain Dew
So conveniently misplacing my bag of medicinal gold
Most unWisely consuming a salty sack of potatoes fried in oil
Then a side of cholesterol shells cracked open after they boil
Chased with raspberry zingers leaves just one final ale to brew
As I wash my last meal down with a pint of Mountain Dew
