To Dying...........

   
   
"....I wear this crown of thorns upon my liars chair  
Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair  
   
Beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear  
You are someone else and I am still right here."  from Johnny Cash, "Hurt"  
 
   
   
   
Dying...  
 
….not particularly afraid  
or under duress  
can't define a certain fit of depression  
though many days, I feel that my life is such a mess  
   
admittedly......  
 
...some days, I welcome death  
and so many will say    
"He's done great things"  
Had so many successes  
Lived a life  that "let freedom ring"  
   
I've left an indelible mark  
on more than just a few  
I look out upon my legacy  
I even see my influence upon you..... but  
   
still I am alone.....  
   
….and the world is ever changing  
this place doesn't feel like my home  
everything is rearranging  
   
and as I grow older  
I become a place in dimly lit memories  
“I hurt myself today”  
Oh God, what has become of me?  
   
Oh death....  
   
…..I see you old friend  
there in the beginning  
and I see you here in the end  
   
I greet you with a smile  
because I am tired,  
and just a bit confused  
I've sacrificed so much to get here  
but now, I just feel used and abused  
   
and unloved.......  
   
….a relic of a distant past  
she looks at me in reverence  
days gone by  
the final die cast.......    
   
...and I want to die.  
   
no one in the world  
to stop the process  
no one here to care  
oh, there will be grandiose words spoken in the end  
but in short form, they are scattered into the air  
so.......  
   
   
“..now I lay me down to sleep  
I pray the lord my soul to keep  
If I should die before I wake  
I pray the Lord my soul to take..”