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Lola Lola (the blue angel)


in my black&white dream, a circle of light blooms
concentrically on the screen. rusting wheels spin, ratcheting
celluloid threads through the projector’s eye, & the cabaret’s
stage comes into focus. in the center stands Lola, hands on
hips, costumed in iridescent top hat, white ruffled bloomers;
silk stockings that end at mid-thigh, exposing maidenly skin
that my viperish mouth craves to adore.

ich bin von mannern umgeben,’ she sings, her eyes scanning
spectral paramours beyond the footlights. but there are no
other men, only me, observing & conspiring from the wings.

champagne, bouquets of calla lilies, imported Swiss chocolate:
I deliver these to her dressing room, suffering every penny of my
savings, to garner her attention. her smile vanquishes my shyness.
she comes close, so close to me, & I inhale the scent of her
cologne, I gaze upon rouged lips. lips that I would never kiss.

her lovers are chairmen of industry, generals & admirals, counts &
barons. What chance would fate afford a simple school teacher?

after months of pining, I broke into her dressing room, my sanity
obliterated. ‘get out!’ she screamed at my reflection in her vanity
mirror; ‘get out!’ the weapon in my hand was an extension of my
terrible heart, since my mind no longer existed. as she approached
me, her fiery eyes intent on torching the beast of my passion, I
pulled the trigger.

my darling Lola, whose beauty was never known to gods or men,
before or ever again, was now merely the tragic Shakespearean
end of my love story. I stood there & wept for the last time, my
heart broken, my hand fused to the smoking gun…


…there is a heaven, a blue heaven, created only for her, where
she reigns as a goddess, attended by blue angels. she performs
to an audience of cornflowers, faded violets, & roses, roses of blue.
under paschal blue skies, bathed in the radiance of a blue moon.
the symphony of brass & strings fills the universe,
and the song is blue...



Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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