She reeked of regrets, and yesterdays and "what if"s, and maybes, and grief, and lost love and broken trust and broken hearts and three a.m and tear-stained pillows and bloodshot eyes and sad songs and "What did I do wrong?"s;
she bore the past stoically, and never once complained as it broke her spirit and flayed her soul
she sipped yesterday slow, with no chaser and let it burn in her belly.
so when happiness finally came calling, she was no longer familiar with...
But everything I have to say has been said. This pain is not new This hurt is all too familiar I've been here before I know my way around. My heart beats foreign inside my chest; But I am not impressed I know the demons by name now Why does the darkness feel like home?
Shedding symphonies on my shoulder. I wanted more than anything to kiss her through the orchestra of her tears. But it is known; that the lips cannot dance while the eyes sing for someone else. So I sat a while longer. Watching her body tremble and shake to a melody he was not around to hear.
Some days I won't be that much fun. On some days the jokes all disappear. On some days my tongue lies heavy in my mouth and I do not wish to speak. On some days I'm just a big ball of gloom floating in a sea of sadness...
...and I do not have a reason
So before you presume to love me, think again.
'Cause you're going to have to love me on those days too
I'm in that "kick your sandcastle down" kinda mood That "yeah, I hear you laughing - stfu" kinda mood "See this little kid playing - pop his balloon" kinda mood "Oh you about to go out huh, I hope it rains" kinda mood "Do I look like I'm in the mood to play games?" kinda mood "Padi leggo me bo - leave me alone" kinda mood And I'm not taking any calls, "get off my line" kinda mood "Wet blanket state of mind, all the time" kinda mood
One day we will have to answer for our sins Choices and consequences Actions and repercussions We all have to face the music sometime. ........................................................................
So, I sit here reflecting on this mess of a life I live The lovers I have left in my wake, holding nothing but a few haunting memories and the sour end of a goodbye.
I wonder what manner of hell they give me for that. Or maybe this is hell... ...and everything and everyone just an elaborate punishment Cursed to suffer...