This sickness inside me

Is making me go insane.
Sometimes I think that they are going to hurt me.
They have done many things to me.
Things that I cannot talk about.
Disgusting things that noone will believe me.
This sickness inside of me is now controlling my thoughts and feelings.
Its making me angry and sad.
These things I think are real.
But Im not sure if my brain is messing with me.
I sometimes dont know what to do about them.
They follow me everywhere.
They fill me up with sickness.
My brain is a giant mess.
Thinking things that are not true.
Its making me die and wither inside........
just like a rose.
I need help
but cannot find anyone to help me.
I need to die so that this sickness will go away.
So I will go away.
And noone will care.