deepundergroundpoetry.com
Replay
She seems some fraction of his age
Dancing at "Queen High" just out of reach
Requesting "Crimson and Clover"
Over and over
The DJ glad to comply
She moves alone, somehow unaccompanied
Cool sidelong glances favoring her athletic grace
A combination of lust and admiration as she glides by
He recalls how he would have stepped in
Decades ago when he would have charmed her
His energy and joy in direct proportion
And his desire at least an even match
She steps toward him and pauses
Her green eyes lighting on his
Before moving off once again
He stops the bar man from pouring another
Saying he's good for the time being
Better than that, in point of fact
Following that possible dream into pulsing blue light
His odometer clicking back with each step
Now, not then, firm and true.
Dancing at "Queen High" just out of reach
Requesting "Crimson and Clover"
Over and over
The DJ glad to comply
She moves alone, somehow unaccompanied
Cool sidelong glances favoring her athletic grace
A combination of lust and admiration as she glides by
He recalls how he would have stepped in
Decades ago when he would have charmed her
His energy and joy in direct proportion
And his desire at least an even match
She steps toward him and pauses
Her green eyes lighting on his
Before moving off once again
He stops the bar man from pouring another
Saying he's good for the time being
Better than that, in point of fact
Following that possible dream into pulsing blue light
His odometer clicking back with each step
Now, not then, firm and true.
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Re: Replay
Anonymous
26th Apr 2015 5:21pm
You did a wonderful job setting the scene in lines 1 thru 5. There is also an inherent pause between lines 5 and 6, almost as if a brake was applied and gears shifted. It is cause for a marvelous slowing effect, almost if she is now dancing in slow motion as he watches her approach and dance on by. This is poetry.
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re: Re: Replay
26th Apr 2015 5:26pm
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
26th Apr 2015 5:23pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Replay
26th Apr 2015 5:31pm
Thanks Schiitaryn. Who knows? It's possible she'll let him catch up. Wiser than her years would indicate.
Re: Replay
26th Apr 2015 9:55pm
Beautiful Thomas, really heartfelt...
((((((((((((Crow))))))))))))))))
Zazzles xoxoxox
((((((((((((Crow))))))))))))))))
Zazzles xoxoxox
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re: Re: Replay
27th Apr 2015 1:27am
re: re: Re: Replay
27th Apr 2015 5:07am
Re: Replay
26th Apr 2015 11:38pm
This describes a feeling very well. That hope, and then rejection, all while feeling you never have had a proper chance to see how that road less travelled could have worked out or failed on its own. This resonates very strongly with me, friend.
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re: Re: Replay
27th Apr 2015 1:30am
Thanks Sammy. There's still a fleeting chance that he'll engage her. It's just that she's so nimble. The trick is, I think, not to get those hopes up too high.
Re: Replay
27th Apr 2015 2:08am
re: Re: Replay
28th Apr 2015 1:56am
Re: Replay
27th Apr 2015 11:46am
re: Re: Replay
28th Apr 2015 1:59am
Re: Replay
28th Apr 2015 3:44am
Oh, I love this, Crow. I love when you give us these little pearls. We are a lucky group in DUP to find this caliber of poetry. Excellent write!
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re: Re: Replay
28th Apr 2015 3:53am
Thanks Virginia! That's really fine praise coming from someone with your talent.
Re: Replay
Anonymous
29th Apr 2015 2:53am
Love the push and pull of temporality. Memory is a place to visit but homecoming is always now. Thanks for the poem.
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re: Re: Replay
29th Apr 2015 3:42am
Re: Replay
29th Apr 2015 4:56am
Feelings and reversals and unrehearsed rolls... We all grow old, but you remained lithe and aware of what you're in for.
I think about moments like what you described quite frequently. I like knowing there's an older troubadour who hasn't given up. You're an inspiration crowfly.
I think about moments like what you described quite frequently. I like knowing there's an older troubadour who hasn't given up. You're an inspiration crowfly.
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re: Re: Replay
30th Apr 2015 2:29am
I try to keep my mind lithe and just wish my body would cooperate. Haven't given up quite yet.