black on grey leaves me red and purple

You find me imbedding gravel
into the palms of temporary insanity
I lie in nothingness between
here and there

You have not come to watch
and leave me unscathed
in accident

You hook into my skin
pull it taut and tight
muscles straining
breaking

I feel the way it resists
knits
pulls itself back together
in ineffable agony

Alabaster frames typhoon bruises
and malformed flesh
there is a pavement in my palms
that wavers to the sound of
dizzy heart beats

I can’t stand up
can’t find my feet against
these waves of manmade rock

Men whisper far away
voices concerned
not entirely for my pile of bones
crumbled, unmoving
a world away
from their silhouetted symphony
of intangible sounds

I move between the pockets of air
I breathe
forced upwards
into an unwelcoming atmosphere

I remember not to scream

The drugs sip at my soul
tongue dipping in
leaving me hollow

I ache for that oblivion
in guilty nostalgia

There is no gun to my head
but my body is wrapped in plastic
like a fetish I can’t get off on

I breathe nail polish and forgotten dreams
every movement like being body slammed
into the jagged walls of a reality
I’d rather not wake up to

I tremble in uncontrolled spasms
and she’s there

She kisses my forehead
takes my bruised hands
and I let this bravery break
into tears and disappointment
wishing there was a happier ending
to this day

© Indie Adams 2015