Closed Off

No one really knows what I'm feeling inside,
I'd try to show it, but it seems as if no one really cares.
I guess I have no one, but myself to blame.
Whenever I'm in pain I just endure and take it in silence like as if it never happened.
I'd feign a smile so that you'll stay awhile longer so that you wont ever be uncomfortable knowing what's really wrong.
Even if I did speak about it, it'll just be the same damn sad song.
Oh how I long for some peace and serenity for once in my life.
To not feel like a mental patient,
To not have to feel unstable once I'm hurt,
To not be the one that's forgotten.
I've been the one who had a name that no one bothered to remember,
I've been the one who'd had a lover who could care less,
I've been the one who wondered if I even had a chance at this thing called life.
I was never a heartbreaker nor did I ever bother being one.
Never really asked for much just for someone to understand where I'm coming from.
But whenever I do, people act as if I'm a pest.
I confess that Im not perfect,
Nobody on this surface is, but I do expect to be treated better.
I hate that I get stepped on,
I'm tired of relying on those who'll never be there.
Nobody knows me,
I'm cold,
Walked this path alone for quite awhile.
It ain't no ones fault but my own.
I try to show no emotion,
So don't ask me why I don't open up so quickly.
Believe me, you'd have to be crazy to put up with me.
Been lonely for a long time,
Been so long now all I do is wish and hope that I wasn't.
Can't I find some love to take this pain away?
My mind is clouded with dreams of happiness.
As my reality is just clouded with despair.
I don't mean to air out my dirty laundry,
But if you must really know then I might tell you that is if you are truly willing to listen.
Living life while taking each day as it comes,
Never walked on the wild side,
Never wanted to live life dangerously because I was afraid of being stupid or dying early.
Can't really say what it is about me that makes me closed off.