Collected Haikus (some about sex)

Done in the traditional 5-7-5 syllable pattern

So I came back now
mostly because I can't sleep
Haikus on the brain

If I had a gun
I would ease it up your butt
hard cold steel no lube

Sleeping just to dream
meet you in the misty night
dance slow in the dark

If I only had
gold card to buy all I want
I would shop lift less

Silence of the Lambs
makes me want fava beans and
a nice Chianti

Of the old monsters
Creature from the Black Lagoon
always was my fave

My god Cthulhu
sleeps in his city R'lyeh
forever dreaming

Futilely I try
to get Gramma just to once
listen to Slayer

Wonder Woman's thighs
could easily crush my head
as I die happy

Absente once again
has made sure I do not know
who the fuck I am

Some day if I die
Afterlife I will explore
come back as a ghost

I have always liked
women watching porn with me
ride me right to sleep

Sanctity of life
means you are nothing to me
till you're in my phone

[All submitted to "Hiekus on Favorite Activities" 2/20/15]