Hallo

Not an angel and not even close to being a demon
im not crazy, but how can i convince these people?
its like a broken record, so i dont even try
to pretend that i am a lover of people
i dont really like kissing the boys or girls
just toys i play with in my spare time
got better things to do like focus on staying alive
i'd be damned if another person becomes a reason i want to die
but the pills
and the fire
and razorblades once in my room
passing out
and the insomnia,
stressing out about what to do
i havent set a good fire in months, now im itching to
this is 2013 all over again
i hope i make it through

Im sorry Daddy i didn't mean to make you worry late at night
i thank my mama for teaching me how to lie
eveything will be alright
this game seems never ending
shocked you found it a suprise
but i have been Lindiwe since the tender age of five

Wish i could find an answer
or a person to blame for the reason i
like the feel of a lit cigarette kissing the flesh of my wrist and smile
pictures have no meaning
my art teacher helped me realise that
im a shit painter because i can never get the light side of it right
but thats okay,
i'll be with Gien making pottery when i die
maybe him and Dhamer can make something beautiful to love when i cry.

i know that its not over
too lazy to start again
side effects of my meds making me forget shit that i meant
like why i wrote this poem
you can guess as well as i
until another misadventure
i bid you all goodbye.