Hidden

his smile, his jokes
the tone of voice
his laugh, his smell
those beautifully crafted words
the promises we made
our hopes and dreams
admiration and desire
total interest in eachother

the neglect, the confusion
words never said
forced smiles, knowing glances
fear
distance

i have become bitter
arrogant, unfoolish, hollow
no amount of music or jokes or movies or money can change that
no one can stop the breeze flowing through my chest
stubborness
im troubled by the emptiness
i cant forget you
the flame that burned out

its like im dead
no use on revenge
it will waste my time
with no intention of loving again
i lift my head and look through my burning eyes
to see a world of black and white
no longer alive
i crave feeling, fantasise about it
and the butterflies
the thrill of being alive
when the fired died out
i became the ashes that flew with the wind
scattered, nothing mattered
i hate you
i hate me
bound to air
i am nothing