'Are You Trying to Lose Me?'

What I do believe...I believe you when you say you love me.
What kind of love? I'm not for certain.
Friendly love? Yes.
Romantic love? I'm not so sure.
Lust? Most definitely.

What I don't believe...when you say you'll always be there for me.
I don't believe that you plan to end your current life.
I don't believe that you plan to start a life with me.
I don't believe that I can trust your word -- regardless of how often you say your word is your bond.
My gut tells me otherwise.
My gut has never lied.
I just never listened before.

Should I listen now?
Should I finally go against my heart?
Should I do what very well could finally break me into a million irreplaceable pieces?

Those are the questions I must answer...and answer quickly.
I've fallen too deep.
I have a habit of such.

I'm lost...

So lost...

Lost in you.
Lost in my feelings.
Lost in my heart.
Lost in the world.

Lost.

You're like the disappearing act in a magicians show.
Around every corner I look to see if you're still there.
I always expected it to happen quickly.
Within the blink of an eye.
Yet again you have surprised me...disappearing instead...in a much slower fashion.
Unfortunately, it hurts much more this way.
Instead of ripping the bandaid off quickly...you are slowly pulling...tearing...ripping me to shreds.

I no longer know what to believe.
Can anything in this world truly be trusted?
Must I always live such a guarded life? In constant fear of being broken beyond repair?

Those are the questions I must answer...and answer quickly..
I've fallen too deep.
I have a habit of such.

I'm lost...

So lost...

Lost in you.
Lost in my feelings.
Lost in my heart.
Lost in the world.

Lost.