deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crash
twisted metal
entwined
like hate filled lovers
unnatural
unnecessary
a radio plays
a rihanna song
disbeliving eyes
wishing upon
heavenly stars
forgive me jesus
it wasn’t meant
to be this way
entwined
like hate filled lovers
unnatural
unnecessary
a radio plays
a rihanna song
disbeliving eyes
wishing upon
heavenly stars
forgive me jesus
it wasn’t meant
to be this way
Published 30th Dec 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Dec 2014 6:30am
Stark, yet your piece paints a vivid scene.
I like the fact you didn't capitalize "Jesus". It makes one think the protagonist is only now calling him because he's hurt, otherwise he'd have no need for him.
Writer's note: unnecessary line 5
I like the fact you didn't capitalize "Jesus". It makes one think the protagonist is only now calling him because he's hurt, otherwise he'd have no need for him.
Writer's note: unnecessary line 5
24th Jan 2015 2:44am
Thanks for noticing the uncapitalze Jesus, didn't
Think readers would have spotted that you have very sharp eyes
Many thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment,
Sorry about the lateness of the reply
Think readers would have spotted that you have very sharp eyes
Many thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment,
Sorry about the lateness of the reply
31st Dec 2014 1:34am
24th Jan 2015 2:46am
