deepundergroundpoetry.com
dark amber
I woke up confused
cause I'm not in your room
Bounced back from a dream
into a strange de-ja-vu
Now
I'm headed your way
despite my confusion
Destined to sway
&
swerve through
these illusions
Buzzing & ringing
these voices keep singing
Reiminding me why
I need to keep dreaming
Trembling & shaking
the choices I'm making
May take me to a place
where time is worth saving...
cause I'm not in your room
Bounced back from a dream
into a strange de-ja-vu
Now
I'm headed your way
despite my confusion
Destined to sway
&
swerve through
these illusions
Buzzing & ringing
these voices keep singing
Reiminding me why
I need to keep dreaming
Trembling & shaking
the choices I'm making
May take me to a place
where time is worth saving...
Published 16th Nov 2014
| Edited 17th Nov 2014
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 807
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Nov 2014 9:41pm
17th Nov 2014 00:36am
Sometimes thoughts like that should be followed through. Expressively breathless,CAOS737.
17th Nov 2014 5:19am
17th Nov 2014 5:48am
This is good. However, the tense changes are rather odd -- I mean, you start off in the past tense, and then go directly into the present tense -- and I don't think you spelled "swerve" correctly. But, otherwise, I really can't complain about this poem, and I am a bit interested in what the ending entails...really...PM me if you don't want to write it here or write another poem about it. This is a good cliffhanger.
17th Nov 2014 11:52pm
Mos def more 2 come... not sure where that path will lead yet ;) thanx for the imput! caos
