eh

i suppose i didnt realize how bad i was,  
i didnt understand the extent of my depression
and that of the power of my anxiety  
 
such a hard place to be  
such a sad mind full of misery  
a body with knowledge of violence  
not just to receive it but to give
an angry time, of hate and lust  
a false sense of security  
a placebo of trust.  
 
a place i didnt want to see, a person who wasnt me  
it was someone else running the show  
a nasty infestation, that was learning to grow  
feeding itself off every fight,  
every punch thrown a delight  
words of hate made it viscous  
a crisp slap across the face, delicious  
 
a beautiful girl being swallowed by abuse  
telling herself this is normal  
not realizing her pain, she moved forth  
on minimum wage  
 
her depression and anxiety weakened and shed  
her armor of hate, lay on her bed  
 
she has left that who had made her this way
and in vulnerable moments it is that she will stay  
 
on goes the amour, on goes the pain  
on goes this depression again  
here comes the anxiety
here comes the misery  
there goes that girl to pain again