- KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD AND PRAY -

Sometimes life keeps crapping on us, and for what, we wonder?  Sometimes we aren't let in on the "why" until much later, but it's not about where you end up in life, it's how you made the journey despite the opposition. Keep at it Evan, for as much as you feel like a whipping post at times, try to see the good in all things--those who treated you badly are gone and can't do it anymore, your son is gone, but maybe the cards weren't in his favor for down the road, so perhaps he was called home to spare him some awfulness later, and God wanted you to have the chance to meet him if only for a moment, before he had to take him back. Think of it this way: our bodies are only the clothing that our souls wear on Earth, and as we change our clothes each day, so do we change our bodies when we have to leave this planet. The soul never dies and we'll see those we love again someday.

We all have losses in our lives, but the sun keeps rising and life moves along regardless. I've been to 4 funerals so far this year--an uncle, an aunt, dear friend at work and my Grandmother who I was caretaker for, for 15 years.  A couple of weeks before Gram went, the dementia was full blown and I sat with her as she babbled about all our dead relatives who had come to visit her, how she insisted I take her Bible home and how she was going to get married to a guy named Waino Johnson. I knew she wouldn't be around much longer, and as crazy as the doctors pegged her, I know she was speaking just fine but in another world.

I found out later that Waino was a family friend and former love of hers and I took her Bible like she insisted and guess what--I found some birthdates in there that I needed for the lawyer who is helping us close her estate. There's a reason for all things, and it all works itself out.

Good cathartic write, Evan, and focus ahead on what else life will have for you and what you want from it. Look deeper and find the good in all things, because it's there once you find it.