A Lifetime Without

You are there... In the back of my mind
You care and I remember that smile again
That feeling of intense belonging
Like death is only a dream

A dream of a dreamer
The actions that led to regret
The past of happiness, lost
A pained heart
And an irreplaceable soul

Was it love that I felt?
I still care you know
But I have to be strong
Its safest to throw
The glass in the bin
Then to cut and slice
My wrists and fingertips

Drinking and smoking
A new group and joking
Am I happy or just intrigued?
Sleepless nights, fatigued.

A life without you seemed unreal
A day without your touch, your feel
An hour without your laughter
A lifetime without a happily ever after