deepundergroundpoetry.com
Afghan Landay ...
Stop stealing the baby's sweet breast milk.
Go out and try to milk the goat you selfish old fool.
Don't handle me like your old rifle.
It will take more than a finger to make me explode.
The elders speak with her openly.
They respect her because she can kill them with honor.
I won't give you the satisfaction.
You couldn't make me scream in bed nor will I plead now.
Butterflies in the pink poppy fields.
Drunk on the nectar they choke and die like my sisters.
She said we should be sisters and friends.
If she kills the old goat I'll call it friendly fire.
You're addicted to my full blossoms.
Caressed when ripe and sold by men for their corruption.
This series of poems grew out of a writing challenge hosted by
Curtis. It was fascinating learning about the art form "landay"
and it's cultural and social significance.
I've included a link on the history of the form as well as
the competition link to read the wonderful work of other
poets here as well ...
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/6971/
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/media/landays.html
Go out and try to milk the goat you selfish old fool.
Don't handle me like your old rifle.
It will take more than a finger to make me explode.
The elders speak with her openly.
They respect her because she can kill them with honor.
I won't give you the satisfaction.
You couldn't make me scream in bed nor will I plead now.
Butterflies in the pink poppy fields.
Drunk on the nectar they choke and die like my sisters.
She said we should be sisters and friends.
If she kills the old goat I'll call it friendly fire.
You're addicted to my full blossoms.
Caressed when ripe and sold by men for their corruption.
This series of poems grew out of a writing challenge hosted by
Curtis. It was fascinating learning about the art form "landay"
and it's cultural and social significance.
I've included a link on the history of the form as well as
the competition link to read the wonderful work of other
poets here as well ...
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/6971/
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/media/landays.html
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 2
comments 25
reads 1404
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 6:06pm
Oh god you know I was just starting to write a series of such 'curses' but I couldn't pull it through, my heart too heavy for the pressing, and this 'landay' simply just simply validates what I feel so strongly, what I wanted so much to put into writing ... And you have made so many of these Lobo! They are deep grown in the dust, and the earthy viscera, I need to do this, too, Lobo, I need!
1
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 8:55pm
I'm glad I could inspire you ... I'm sure once you get started you'll bring your own unique perspective to this wondefully poignant form ...
I look forward to reading them
I look forward to reading them
Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 6:14pm
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 8:56pm
I'm trying to become a better researcher to add more authenticity to my work ... Glad you found it useful.
re: re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 7:20am
Yes, I think every culture would have such a form. They also remind me of scriptures, like the Lamentations and the book of Job. Some of the rap forms of the African-Americans also express similar sentiments, a people oppressed. The couplet form the landay takes is a real challenge.
I will be returning to the country soon, where Internet connection is not as reliable, and thus I won't be posting on DU as much. But I will remember this, Lobo, your landays and the deeper purpose of the form. And I will continue writing.
I will be returning to the country soon, where Internet connection is not as reliable, and thus I won't be posting on DU as much. But I will remember this, Lobo, your landays and the deeper purpose of the form. And I will continue writing.
0
Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 7:14pm
There is such depth to this form, LobodeSanPedro, luv :-*. I explored but briefly. Mayhap, I will do more, but yours are so full, they fair burst with the weight of the emotions they carry within them.
This is poetry stripped of pretense...
This is poetry stripped of pretense...
0
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 8:59pm
I think that's the haunting beauty of landays, and to a certain extent haiku & senryu, it's language at it's core expressing stark emotion or moments
Thanks for stopping by and commenting
Thanks for stopping by and commenting
Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 8:18pm
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 9:03pm
... the brutality these women endure is almost unthinkable ... The fact they can turn it into ironic song is a testament to them, and a centuries old tradition in many cultures now transformed ...
Thanks for reading and commenting
Thanks for reading and commenting
Re: Afghan Landay ...
Anonymous
18th Jul 2014 8:37pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
18th Jul 2014 9:09pm
Jack Tex ... Thanks for reminding me to post these to my folder. I sometimes forget to copy "competition" pieces over to here and I "lose" them ...
... writing the landay you've noted ... "the friendly fire"... And "stop stealing the baby's milk" were my favs to write ...
Thanks for the RL add ... And your volunteering to help with my haiku project.
Gotta ask: SPURS or MAVS? (assuming you're in Texas lol)
... writing the landay you've noted ... "the friendly fire"... And "stop stealing the baby's milk" were my favs to write ...
Thanks for the RL add ... And your volunteering to help with my haiku project.
Gotta ask: SPURS or MAVS? (assuming you're in Texas lol)
re: re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
Anonymous
19th Jul 2014 6:54am
<< post removed >>
Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 4:25am
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 4:48am
Thanks for the nod brotha ... I'm just trying to be like you when I grow up
re: re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 6:36am
hahaha... g'wan now, brudder
u know some Poets start writing funny with them
tongues in their cheeks.
ur welcome
: )
0
Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 10:16pm
This is really special Big Dog - it feels so colloquial and present and at the same time you married it with form - Bravo!!!
1
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
19th Jul 2014 11:20pm
I greatly appreciate the nod whale and the RL add ... I'm just glad I could stay true the art form and it resonated with those who read it
Salud
Salud
Re: Afghan Landay ...
20th Jul 2014 00:42am
I knew nothing of this form, or
its circumstances, so thank you.
I shall read more...
its circumstances, so thank you.
I shall read more...
0
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
20th Jul 2014 1:32am
That's part of the reason we're all here ... Too learn and grow - and when accomplished - write about it
Re: Afghan Landay ...
22nd Jul 2014 5:05pm
Such beautiful woven words worthy of the win...thanks for posting the link! I need to write more of this too, hermano.
@EngrVV
@EngrVV
0
re: Re: Afghan Landay ...
22nd Jul 2014 5:54pm
Gracias Hermano,
It is a wonderful form to work and experiment with ...
Right now I'm playing with haiku - senryu and haibun ...
Check out these links to try your work out in another arena ...
http://www.hsa-haiku.org/hsa-contests.htm
http://www.hsa-haiku.org/frogpond/2013-issue36-3/Welch-Starting-Fp36-3.pdf
It is a wonderful form to work and experiment with ...
Right now I'm playing with haiku - senryu and haibun ...
Check out these links to try your work out in another arena ...
http://www.hsa-haiku.org/hsa-contests.htm
http://www.hsa-haiku.org/frogpond/2013-issue36-3/Welch-Starting-Fp36-3.pdf
Re: Afghan Landay ...
Brotha LSP,
Pure genius, as individual couplets entered in the comp and in its consolidated form and theme. You've definitely mastered the craft of short form poetry, not compromising in clarity of your words.
Every single line is brilliant. I particularly enjoyed the opening couplet, "...milk the goat you selfish old fool!" That cracked me up.
This was an outstanding entry and well deserving of the win.
Pure genius, as individual couplets entered in the comp and in its consolidated form and theme. You've definitely mastered the craft of short form poetry, not compromising in clarity of your words.
Every single line is brilliant. I particularly enjoyed the opening couplet, "...milk the goat you selfish old fool!" That cracked me up.
This was an outstanding entry and well deserving of the win.
0
Re: Afghan Landay ...
28th Jul 2014 6:11pm
Thanks for the high praise ... the look on the woman's face for the attached photo made that particular poem in as much as my scribblings ...
I really enjoyed the form but also relished the chance to speak from another perspective ... Good practice for those scripts Brotha
Cheers
I really enjoyed the form but also relished the chance to speak from another perspective ... Good practice for those scripts Brotha
Cheers
Re: Afghan Landay ...
10th Oct 2014 8:47am
Re: Afghan Landay ...
10th Oct 2014 11:02am