deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alone...
Alone, lonely, lost, and depressed.
Alone, I'm out of luck and I can't find no one else there to hold my hand.
Alone, upset, and all alone in the dark.
Alone, lost, and nowhere to be found.
Alone, misunderstood and taken as an outcast; no one can hear, but me, myself, and I.
Alone, tired of being alone.
Sweet laughs end up turning into bitter tears that fall to the ground and start a rain storm. Some children may even sing the blues; fallen to your knees at the wrath of the thunder then faint at the cry of the lightning. Alone, I have no one else, but me.
Alone, I'm out of luck and I can't find no one else there to hold my hand.
Alone, upset, and all alone in the dark.
Alone, lost, and nowhere to be found.
Alone, misunderstood and taken as an outcast; no one can hear, but me, myself, and I.
Alone, tired of being alone.
Sweet laughs end up turning into bitter tears that fall to the ground and start a rain storm. Some children may even sing the blues; fallen to your knees at the wrath of the thunder then faint at the cry of the lightning. Alone, I have no one else, but me.
Published 1st Jul 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
30th Aug 2014 9:57pm
MsRockyJackson, luv :-* ~
This poem is touching and forlorn. It resonates deeply inside eliciting terrible melancholy.
It is a difficult poem; the hurt is so real. It is tangible. I feel as though I could reach out and touch it in the air.
I've been here and it's horrid. I've breathed the stench of this pain. That rainstorm is suffocating and acidic, burning agonizingly, luv.
You capture this so well.
Small technical changes to consider: fallen to falling perhaps? And, while cry of lightning sounds good, it might work better as rage of lightning cry of thunder only because lightning is typically silent so there's an incongruity there. Just thoughts to consider...
This is an excellent poem, luv. :-*
This poem is touching and forlorn. It resonates deeply inside eliciting terrible melancholy.
It is a difficult poem; the hurt is so real. It is tangible. I feel as though I could reach out and touch it in the air.
I've been here and it's horrid. I've breathed the stench of this pain. That rainstorm is suffocating and acidic, burning agonizingly, luv.
You capture this so well.
Small technical changes to consider: fallen to falling perhaps? And, while cry of lightning sounds good, it might work better as rage of lightning cry of thunder only because lightning is typically silent so there's an incongruity there. Just thoughts to consider...
This is an excellent poem, luv. :-*
16th Nov 2017 5:02pm
I love the emotion you slammed into this. bitter tears,rain storms,solitude,thunder, very rich imagery.excellent poem MsRockyJackson.
you are no longer alone take my hand and take a walk with me through my mind if you have the time
https://zaroffpoetry.wordpress.com/
you are no longer alone take my hand and take a walk with me through my mind if you have the time
https://zaroffpoetry.wordpress.com/
16th Nov 2017 5:10pm
Thank you for taking the time to read this,
This was my very first poem so at the time I was going through so much in my life that made me really find myself and I think when I found this site it gave me the freedom of expression to finally show my frustration and early pain
This was my very first poem so at the time I was going through so much in my life that made me really find myself and I think when I found this site it gave me the freedom of expression to finally show my frustration and early pain
16th Nov 2017 5:35pm
no problem. most of the time when i find a new poet on here i always go to their first poem posted, a lot of the time it defines them the most. you would not believe how many i've found that had no comments yet.i'm happy to read your awesome work.
13th Jun 2021 00:11am
Since my DU Poetry experience started in 2020 this for me is so fresh it's like a new reality.
Alone
A feeling that can be embraced and shared by many...
Alone
A feeling that can be embraced and shared by many...
26th May 2024 6:09pm
Love the vulnerability in this piece. Well written, nicely executed!
