Why?

we all need a holiday from ourselves, I think what you need is to look at yourself in a different perspective, think about what people love you for. I know it may seem like there is no one out that there that cares but I can bet that there is at least one person that would kill to see you happy.

I do not want others to kill for my petty happiness, I want to be the source of their happiness or caring shoulder so to speak. To deserve a holiday first requires work and I have none.

Brilliant!

Can I respond in kind (unlikely, but I'll try)

See that door, it's over there
Where it leads, I do not care
I'm comfy here, in my chair
Life's been good, for I have no despair

Friends, we've had some blasts
Together shared life's paths
Problem is few come most go
As we age, don't you know

Memories fade, but I've seen a lot
What's left, not a lot
Why go out I have to ask
The struggle can be such a task

So here I sit, enjoying life
Why change, its my right

Indeed...the bread lies stale eh...this happens to me much-it becomes rinse and repeat-much like the choice of lingo I use...so then it grows mold on top....hmmmmmmm The elusive spark will strike sometime have faith (I tell myself this little lie...about every 3 days)

Faith is forever in the future it seems for me. But then again it seems whenever I hit rock bottom in despair a sudden wave of joy appears. But the blasted beat goes on.

You are a wave of joy to me. Keep writing.

Kind and sweet words, but lacking age to give it true meaning, you hardly know me.

I suppose so.

'y' always was the loneliest character. It's got nothing to lean on.

Deep within a person is a spot that holds darkness. This darkness is released in the written word and a shed tear. You did a wonderful job defining this inner darkness.  I love the metaphors you used. They brought me into your world. They let me know exactly how you are feeling at the moment that you wrote this.

To me it is less a world and more a cloak that suddenly I wear. Although it is bleakness rather than darkness in its weave.

Thanks for commenting, nice to see that the feelings can be felt by others, but better if they don't have to feel it.

WOW loving the clarity in this.
I feel like this a lot Viddax.
Keep going hopefully you will slip into a life changing experience on the positive side!
Chin up Sweetheart!
Broom Xxx

Love this so much!!