deepundergroundpoetry.com
the last thing
I want to drown him,
make him choke on
my liquid love, watch
his beautiful eyes
fill up with tears,
I want to be the
last thing...
the last thing he
sees...
smells...
tastes...
the last thing!
make him choke on
my liquid love, watch
his beautiful eyes
fill up with tears,
I want to be the
last thing...
the last thing he
sees...
smells...
tastes...
the last thing!
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likes 12
reading list entries 0
comments 24
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 2:21pm
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 2:53pm
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 2:28pm
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 2:56pm
Re: the last thing
I've actually tried this more than a few times with mi brujita to the point where my legs are thrashing about ... I'm no quitter so I'll keep trying ; )
Cool ink.
Writer's note: no -ed needed on "drown"
Cool ink.
Writer's note: no -ed needed on "drown"
1
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 3:26pm
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 3:20pm
Should the first line not read "I want to DROWN him"? (drowned is past tense). Otherwise liked.
1
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 3:27pm
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 7:07pm
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 4:15pm
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 7:09pm
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 5:26pm
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 7:10pm
Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 7:00pm
I can think of a million worse ways to go :) I love the incorporation of my favorite senses in the piece...beautiful work Tommie!
1
re: Re: the last thing
21st Apr 2014 7:11pm
Re: the last thing
Anonymous
21st Apr 2014 8:54pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: the last thing
22nd Apr 2014 1:29pm
Re: the last thing
23rd Apr 2014 12:14pm
re: Re: the last thing
23rd Apr 2014 12:25pm
re: Re: the last thing
24th Apr 2014 1:18am
Re: the last thing
24th Apr 2014 2:05am
that's the battle cry of a fiercely passionate Lady. the Magna Carta of Womanhood!...
0
re: Re: the last thing
24th Apr 2014 2:14am