Ruptured Duck  Flight 1.5

(This was a Delta flight  from New York to Tallahassee FL. with a stop at Atlanta Ga. .  From New York to Atlanta, NO PROBLEM, From Atlanta to Tallahassee, well, here's the Story.) Note: The absurdity of this narrative exemplifies the absurdity of this TRUE experience.

Ruptured Duck: flight 1.5

Captain to the co pilot:
I can't find my sun glasses.
Co pilot to the captain:
You wearing em man.
Captain :
Oh yea, Oh yea, I see em now.
Captain to the co pilot :
Remind me one more time man, uh, where we going again?
Co pilot back to the captain:
Tallahassee Florida, I think sir.
Captain back to the Co pilot :
What do you mean, YOU THINK,  and where in the name of the Wright brothers is Tallahassee Florida?
Co pilot to the Captain :
  I don't know man, you got the map!
Captain back to the co pilot :
Call Delta and ask them.
Co Pilot to the captain :
They don't know either man, that's why we got this gig, er, flight.
Captain to the Co Pilot :
It's about time you assumed more responsibility, here, You take the map.
Co pilot to the captain :
Oh captain, this is a proud time in my career, can I call my Mama?
Captain to the co pilot :
Why hell no, it's time taxi to the runway.
Co pilot to the captain :
I don't see no taxi!
Captain to the co pilot :
OK, OK, that did it!, any more of that smart ass shit, you gone give me the damn map back! Now pay attention. What directions did control tower just give for take off?
Co pilot to the captain :
  I think he said,  pull out the grass and follow the lighter.
Captain to the co pilot :
Man he didn't say no shit like that, he said pull past the grass divide and follow that man giving directions with the light, when was last time you been pulled for a random?
Co pilot to the captain :
Man, I been pulled at least a dozen times this month! ---- Is that random enough?
Captain to the co pilot :
Yea, and now that they no it ain't dope, they are really getting doubts about you!

Control Tower to Ruptured Duck, flight 1.5 :
Come in ----------- Ruptured Duck??, flight ---- 1.5??
Ruptured Duck Airlines, Flight, 1.5 to the Control Tower:
This is Ruptured Duck, flight, 1.5; Go ahead Control Tower.
Control Tower to Ruptured Duck, flight 1.5:
Ruptured Duck, flight 1.5, I understand you are now the substitute for the Delta flight to Tallahassee due to multiple delays on their connectors; is this correct?
Captain of flight 1.5 to the control tower :
Yes sir, there connectors definitely got disconnected on this Tallahassee gig, er, flight.  They gave it up and subbed it out to us.
Control tower to Ruptured Duck flight 1.5 :
Roger that, OK,---- We need you to taxi to runway U812 and stand by for take off orders.
Captain of flight 1.5 to the control tower :
What did you say I ate?!
Control tower to the captain :
-------That was the number of the departing runway,---- Sir.
Captain to the control tower :
Oh,I see, U812!
Control tower to the captain:
Negative, the runway is number U812!
Captain to the control tower :
Copy that Tower, I understand we're to taxi to runway U812 and await take out orders.
Control tower to Ruptured Duck flight 1.5. :
 Negative!,  Negative!,  Hold position!, do not move!, I repeat!, do not continue!,  Hold  Position for further instructions, will Update shortly!!!
Captain to the control tower :
Roger that Control Tower were holding at U812.

A frantic discussion in the control tower goes like this :      Maybe we should pull the  plug on this Tallahassee  flight!
Someone else says :  That may start a riot among those passengers who've been gate hopping for the last ten hours, plus, they've been boarded for over an hour now!
Yet another participant in this doubt laden discussion :
The pilot and co pilot sound more like Cheech and Chong than any airline pilots I've  ever heard, but they do sound like a good match for there airline, - - - Is this right?  Ruptured Duck,-----, flight 1.5?!  How did they convince the passengers to board this flight  in the first place?
Another participant in this exasperating conversation has the answer :
They were told that its a private charter, which it is, and that Ruptured Duck was not the  name of the substitute for the Delta flight but a simple type O for the complimentary  dinner of Peking Duck to be served inflight.

The Officer of the tower charges into the observation Tower demanding an explanation and resolution to the delay that is now causing a major jam on the runway:
Why is the bird on U812 being held!!?
Control tower guide in charge of runway U812 to the head officer of the day :
Sir, I have grave doubts about the crew of the Ruptured Duck Airlines!
Head officer of the control tower to the tower guide :
The what!!?
The tower guide to the head officer of the control tower :
The Ruptured Duck sir.---- Flight 1.5.
The head officer to the tower guide in charge of runway U812 :

Well go ahead and get them in the air  -  even a ruptured duck should know how to fly south!

The moral of this, Story;
" The flight of a thousand miles might take only an hour for the first nine hundred miles, but the lay over for the last one hundred, may take the rest of your life!" (Or at least, long enough to write something like this)