deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mocking Emptiness
The words I utter
hollow ash filled smoke
haloing my head
with a mocking tone
this soul disconnected
try another number
I whisper to the powers that be
that smother my being
telling me secrets
I don't wish to hear
a hellish concerto
I sing the song
of the oppressed
depression playing me
like a cello
deep melancholy notes
dancing my part
in this thing we call life
all consuming passion one day
riding the manic waves
crashing against the breakers
skull cracking, bones crushing
heart breaking
then blank nothing
feelings foreign inanimate objects
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder
hollow ash filled smoke
haloing my head
with a mocking tone
this soul disconnected
try another number
I whisper to the powers that be
that smother my being
telling me secrets
I don't wish to hear
a hellish concerto
I sing the song
of the oppressed
depression playing me
like a cello
deep melancholy notes
dancing my part
in this thing we call life
all consuming passion one day
riding the manic waves
crashing against the breakers
skull cracking, bones crushing
heart breaking
then blank nothing
feelings foreign inanimate objects
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder
Published 24th Mar 2014
| Edited 27th Mar 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 19
reading list entries 0
comments 40
reads 1146
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Mar 2014 7:49pm
Life becomes a karaoke - sentimental words sung against a formulaic backing track - all of it meaning fuck all:
"Dancing my part in this thing we call life"
"Soul disconnected"
communicate the dissonance where we wonder as we talk/do who the fuck said/did that
Love the final verse
"Dancing my part in this thing we call life"
"Soul disconnected"
communicate the dissonance where we wonder as we talk/do who the fuck said/did that
Love the final verse
24th Mar 2014 7:54pm
24th Mar 2014 7:58pm
Crim, this is just beautiful! :)
"then blank nothing
feelings foreign inanimate objects
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder"
^^^ a perfect ending to this wonderful ink! Xo
"then blank nothing
feelings foreign inanimate objects
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder"
^^^ a perfect ending to this wonderful ink! Xo
24th Mar 2014 8:04pm
24th Mar 2014 8:10pm
24th Mar 2014 8:25pm
24th Mar 2014 8:44pm
Passionate verses of the heart, Crim. It's always a pleasure coming to the wonders of your lines. Much peace to you... :)
24th Mar 2014 8:51pm
24th Mar 2014 8:55pm
Another breakout poem
Superb writing ad filled with feeling
you got it going now Brenda
xx
Superb writing ad filled with feeling
you got it going now Brenda
xx
24th Mar 2014 9:05pm
24th Mar 2014 9:19pm
Lovely Crim, poignant, thought provoking and yes, a perfect ending. Amazing talent! Never think you're less.
Melancholy is a bitch. Karma is its cousin.
Melancholy is a bitch. Karma is its cousin.
24th Mar 2014 9:32pm
24th Mar 2014 11:07pm
24th Mar 2014 11:26pm
24th Mar 2014 11:08pm
"this soul disconnected
try another number
I whisper to the powers that be"
beautifully written and expressive ink. For me this.. Paints a picture of the highs and lows with no highs...
with love and respect.. xoxo domore
try another number
I whisper to the powers that be"
beautifully written and expressive ink. For me this.. Paints a picture of the highs and lows with no highs...
with love and respect.. xoxo domore
24th Mar 2014 11:27pm
thank you lovely lady though I've been over the moon high lately crashing to the ground today.. with love Crim :)
25th Mar 2014 00:14am
;( sending you positive energy and the warmest of hugs my friend.. xoxo with love domore
25th Mar 2014 00:31am
Anonymous
24th Mar 2014 11:31pm
Oh Crim if only you knew how appropriate this poem is for me to read on this day.
Truly Thank you
Truly Thank you
24th Mar 2014 11:41pm
I'm so touched this poem moved you thank you for the add to your RL making me smile today :) with love Crim
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2018 2:45pm
25th Mar 2014 1:01am
<< post removed >>
25th Mar 2014 5:30am
25th Mar 2014 5:55am
you do the combo of darkness and sadness so well crimsin to convey a beautifully written piece...
25th Mar 2014 6:05am
25th Mar 2014 8:21am
"feelings foreign inanimate objects
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder"
a very poignant piece, beautifully crafted, Brenda.
that I place on the shelf
occasionally dusting off
so I can look at them with wonder"
a very poignant piece, beautifully crafted, Brenda.
25th Mar 2014 2:33pm
25th Mar 2014 1:10pm
Winter just quoted the exact part I was about to quote! lol
Anyways yea... Wow the weight of this is equal to how must feel to have a T-Rex stepping on your head...dark, deep spill Crim...
Anyways yea... Wow the weight of this is equal to how must feel to have a T-Rex stepping on your head...dark, deep spill Crim...
25th Mar 2014 2:34pm
25th Mar 2014 4:15pm
Much depth in this.
Live life fiercely with raging passion, a lioness of the fire dance. Pained by moments of what is to be mental breaks, thus thy mind never sleeps, your conscience awake never letting you sleep.
Live life fiercely with raging passion, a lioness of the fire dance. Pained by moments of what is to be mental breaks, thus thy mind never sleeps, your conscience awake never letting you sleep.
25th Mar 2014 4:39pm
thank you kind Soul for getting this poem and for your poetic response :) with love Crim
Anonymous
25th Mar 2014 7:27pm
Sweet Crim.....what a gripping write. We get a look at your beautiful heart and soul with each revealing write. You are so precious. Xo :)
25th Mar 2014 8:37pm
lovely Flower so beautiful and kind you are to say such endearments thank you :) with love Crim
25th Mar 2014 8:55pm
Such a feeling of woe in this piece Crim, truly felt this. Wonderfully written. :)
25th Mar 2014 9:36pm
26th Mar 2014 7:29am
26th Mar 2014 2:41pm
9th Apr 2014 00:49am
god brenda! it is worth it to come back every couple of days just to get inspired by you....
i love this one....love it
i love this one....love it
9th Apr 2014 3:50am
29th Apr 2014 5:13pm
30th Apr 2014 00:50am
