deepundergroundpoetry.com
Foxtrot 'till you bore
Morality is a solemn dance
that we desperately try and find
a partner for.
It is the mugger in the shadows
as we do our best to walk
peacefully past.
Its jaws wait for ambush
as our feet narrowly escape it
again and again,
whilst it memorises our patterns
knowing all too well,
that we eventually become slower.
We will all be soaked up
in the bile of its stomach,
all we can do is hope that we are caught
off guard
as supposed to spending our lives
waiting for it.
that we desperately try and find
a partner for.
It is the mugger in the shadows
as we do our best to walk
peacefully past.
Its jaws wait for ambush
as our feet narrowly escape it
again and again,
whilst it memorises our patterns
knowing all too well,
that we eventually become slower.
We will all be soaked up
in the bile of its stomach,
all we can do is hope that we are caught
off guard
as supposed to spending our lives
waiting for it.
Published 20th Feb 2011
| Edited 21st Feb 2011
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20th Feb 2011 1:41pm
a nuisance.
"knowing all too well,
that we eventually become slower."
and excellent point of an end.
well said.
[:
"knowing all too well,
that we eventually become slower."
and excellent point of an end.
well said.
[:
Anonymous
20th Feb 2011 1:54pm
> and possibly a move in a new direction (in terms of the less reflective style?)
really liked this one - especially that you paint the scope of your message perfectly in that first sentence.
Good work,
Steven
really liked this one - especially that you paint the scope of your message perfectly in that first sentence.
Good work,
Steven
20th Feb 2011 2:15pm
20th Feb 2011 3:02pm
'again and again,
whilst it memorises our patterns' Beautifully solemn, like body and mind closing up on itself.
whilst it memorises our patterns' Beautifully solemn, like body and mind closing up on itself.
20th Feb 2011 7:01pm
...'supposed' or 'as opposed' my dear JT...? Or might one simply say "rather than"
Best ~ Abra
Best ~ Abra
20th Feb 2011 8:02pm
An interesting take on the idea. Quick nitpick, your line "Its jaws wait for ambush" has a grammatically painful apostrophe.
21st Feb 2011 1:09am
good job my friend quite pessimistic which if you've read my stuff you know i can totally appreciate and relate to
