An Excerpt From My Boss's Diary

I'm a gap-toothed redneck with nothing to lose
I like small farm animals and singing the blues

One time I cut off a dog's ear
Then watered his corpse with my laughing tears

I'm so dumb I stroke my teeth and brush my dick
Then run around flea markets screaming: 'I'm rich, I'm rich!'

Every rhyme I think of eats at my brain
Until I jot it down lest I go insane

My psychiatrist said my condition is unknown
I just flipped him off then jumped out the window

Now I'm sitting here telling you about my day
My life is normal and there's nothing left to say