deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mind Shades
Midnight shadows crowd
my mind, sucking the breath
out of me and stealing my ease.
It's a long way from daybreak
comforts and my only defence
is a gritted rage — empty punches
at spectral taunts. My own thoughts
betray me, trading hurriedly buried
secrets for two snatched minutes
of jerked sleep. There will be no
peace until the final rest. "Soon,"
they whisper to me, "soon."
Published 20th Jan 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 27
reads 1033
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jan 2014 4:22pm
21st Jan 2014 9:02pm
Anonymous
20th Jan 2014 5:04pm
dun wryte dis won Rm
21st Jan 2014 9:02pm
20th Jan 2014 5:15pm
21st Jan 2014 9:03pm
Anonymous
- Edited 20th Jan 2014 10:27pm
20th Jan 2014 10:26pm
<< post removed >>
21st Jan 2014 9:04pm
20th Jan 2014 10:55pm
You painting rainbows again Atakti? ;-}
Excellent Grim here Sunshine!!!
Excellent Grim here Sunshine!!!
21st Jan 2014 9:05pm
Ha ha, only rainbows in shades of black... There's no pot of gold at the end - I'm thinking oozing tar, probably...
Thank you, Soul!
Thank you, Soul!
21st Jan 2014 1:39am
Okay, I'm going to assume you have no children and you're not a nanny; when and if, I'm recommending you refrain from the lullabies.
21st Jan 2014 9:07pm
Pffft, Jake, kids dig my stories! They listen, enrapt, hiding under their own bed...
;)
;)
21st Jan 2014 2:09am
21st Jan 2014 9:08pm
Eh, I'll probably get to stick around and annoy people for a while...
Cheers, Dys!
Cheers, Dys!
21st Jan 2014 1:35pm
Yup, those twilight hours can 'bewitch' the mind!
a deftly penned, brooding toned GEM you've inked :)
a deftly penned, brooding toned GEM you've inked :)
21st Jan 2014 9:09pm
21st Jan 2014 2:45pm
Nicely done, 'Midnight shadow,' indeed. The witching hour is upon youuuu...oops thought of an idea for a poem, gotta run, he, he, he.
21st Jan 2014 9:10pm
*big grin*
LOVE that you thought of a poem in the middle of a comment, score!
Thanks, Powers, for stopping by.
LOVE that you thought of a poem in the middle of a comment, score!
Thanks, Powers, for stopping by.
22nd Jan 2014 8:44am
faceless voices wispering, as if in a dream. but you're not dreaming. slick...
23rd Jan 2014 12:48pm
Cheers, Feddeler, for the slick comment...
Only half is a dream. The other half needs sedation or to kick something.
Only half is a dream. The other half needs sedation or to kick something.
Anonymous
22nd Jan 2014 5:09pm
The lurking in the dark, and shards of illumination .....
23rd Jan 2014 12:49pm
Love that word, 'lurk' - it takes some doing. It's like loitering, but with menace.
Thanks, Mourganna!
Thanks, Mourganna!
22nd Jan 2014 11:14pm
Great write Atakti, the title is spot on for the picture you painted. Its penned perfect.
23rd Jan 2014 12:50pm
Thank you, Dr Love...
I'm glad you like the title, although I found it a bit obvious myself.
I'm glad you like the title, although I found it a bit obvious myself.
25th Jan 2014 2:20pm
Captured the mind shades vividly Atakti. A familiar place and great work. :)
26th Jan 2014 12:16pm
Anonymous
13th Mar 2014 3:13pm
I wrote a poem called "The celestial whir" a few months back that also ended with the line: "soon" I tell myself. "soon". It's such a universal statement, and it works so well in here. It's the perfect finisher for this piece.
I think it's interesting that is suggests so much melancholia. Not now, or maybe, or in the future, but soon. It clings to what might have been with no admiration of what it is to come. It hangs in the air like an odd question mark.
Great, if not a little saddened, read.
I think it's interesting that is suggests so much melancholia. Not now, or maybe, or in the future, but soon. It clings to what might have been with no admiration of what it is to come. It hangs in the air like an odd question mark.
Great, if not a little saddened, read.
