deepundergroundpoetry.com
"My Recompense," (For Her).
I look into your eyes and
see you looking back at me
The warmth of your love I
feel as it flows-out of your
heart and touches me, deep
You always had a way of
reciprocating everything
that I needed just in time,
even when I didn't see
If ever I needed a moment
wherein to lay my head down
upon an understanding shoulder,
you were there and didn't
look down on me
You took me in to your shelter
and made me feel peace and
comfort
And when the rain fell, you
were the umbrella that I stood
under
How very well I know you that
you didn't do it seeking recompense
But still I am indebted to you and
choose to stand by you and
support you in everything that
this uncertain world sends
You're my strength and
my certainty
My reasoning when all hells
breaking-loose and life's
coming-apart at the seams
And although it would appear
that your selflessness could
never be repaid, unto you will
I recompense all that you give
for as long as I'm given
see you looking back at me
The warmth of your love I
feel as it flows-out of your
heart and touches me, deep
You always had a way of
reciprocating everything
that I needed just in time,
even when I didn't see
If ever I needed a moment
wherein to lay my head down
upon an understanding shoulder,
you were there and didn't
look down on me
You took me in to your shelter
and made me feel peace and
comfort
And when the rain fell, you
were the umbrella that I stood
under
How very well I know you that
you didn't do it seeking recompense
But still I am indebted to you and
choose to stand by you and
support you in everything that
this uncertain world sends
You're my strength and
my certainty
My reasoning when all hells
breaking-loose and life's
coming-apart at the seams
And although it would appear
that your selflessness could
never be repaid, unto you will
I recompense all that you give
for as long as I'm given
Published 30th Nov 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 653
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Nov 2013 7:40am
"And when the rain fell, you were the umbrella that I stood under"
so very beautiful Thomas.
so very beautiful Thomas.
30th Nov 2013 8:26am
For mine, this piece is more prose than poem, deeply felt and expressed, but it's structure I feel is better suited to less short verse and rather more connected prose paragraphs.
I also feel the "Ands" are unnecessary, almost maybe a tad contrived to sound like a poem instead of introducing a new theme. Same goes for the "Cause" in the penultimate stanza.
For me, it reads so much better without those "Ands" and that "Cause".
Yet as I said, deeply felt and expressed. I like it al lot.
I also feel the "Ands" are unnecessary, almost maybe a tad contrived to sound like a poem instead of introducing a new theme. Same goes for the "Cause" in the penultimate stanza.
For me, it reads so much better without those "Ands" and that "Cause".
Yet as I said, deeply felt and expressed. I like it al lot.
