wrong time for introspection

I can empathise with this. You've captured the pain of parenthood - that is to say the struggle to balance being yourself (with your own wants and needs) versus being a parent / mother....where you're a slave to a lovely helpless soul (s) that quite often demands demands demands...

Then the guilt kicks in and you wonder why you're such a 'bad' parent, when you're evidently not.

All we can do is our best.

I won't waste any more words on dissecting the poem form or structure, because its perfect in my opinion.

It made my eyes well with tears.

Beautiful and poignant.

S

thank you for 'getting' this, i'm glad someone else can relate. it is definitely a balancing act, but i try to keep in mind that they're adaptable and everybody goes through phases. just another part of life, as long as they really know they're loved. [:

And I, in my typical childish manner related to the child, and it didn't feel so good 'clutching her faithful toy dog  
to cheek -  
no smile. ' She knows she's loved but feels unloved all in one line. Brilliance J, you captured mother and daughter very well. As always you were structurely on point too. =]

LA.

thanks, LA, it's actually refreshing to hear that you could relate to the child, it was as much about her and her feelings as 'me' and 'mine' if not more so. [:

You could tell, it was very honest. It seemed that moment would not matter to anyone else other than the two of you, that's the beauty in it. =]

Not being a parent myself, I can't connect with this poem on any subjective level, but objectively I can say this: it's a wonderfully crafted, straightforward piece of work which doesn't hoodwink the reader, try and grab him through cheap sentiment, but simply conveys the scenario with enviable clarity. One for my reading list, methinks.

wow, Jack, thank you so much. i thought the situation spoke for itself, i'm glad you thought the same. [:

....I remember something like this happening to my sister while I was with her once, and she was crying and laughing about crying all at the same time...beautiful moment, and lovely little parent-pain piece.

thank you! oh, it is a horrible feeling in the moment. kinda wanted to smack myself, but i'm all good now. [:

the feeling of loss, that's what it brought to me. that instant of uncertainty. maybe it's before you realize you're both fine, or maybe not. nicely done. the last two lines may not be necessary, or, maybe more ambiguous?

thanks, ray. [: yeah, i'll look again...i modified it just a tiny bit before you read it, so maybe now they're not necessary. thanks for checkin'. [:

Ray's suggested edit was the trick.  But those two lines say so much in themselves.  Maybe start another work with them?  Either way, this is so deeply piercing especially to a father.  Right now, when I come home, my kids run to me yelling "Daddy!"  I will be beyond heartbroken when that ends.  Well done, capturing this heartwrenching pain, Jacki.

thanks, PTM, i'm so glad you thought it worked. those little moments go quickly. [:

this is sad, but it happens...
you captured that sad moment, so well with so little words... thanks for sharing this, Jacki!

no, Darling, thank you for reading! [:

Jacki~this is perfection.  You say so much with so little, manage to convey that moment in all its heartbreak.  What a tender, loving little poem.  And by "little" I really mean "huge" (in scope).  Saving.

thank you so much, it's a privilege to get your gracious kudos. [:

thanks, mo(st). [:

i love this comment, that is all. effin' nice to meet you. :D