deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rain...
From a distance she had
caught his eye as
he walked toward her
his blond curls
being whipped by
the incoming storm
his blue eyes gazing steadily
she tried to look away
but his contemplating
held her
and then suddenly
the sky opened
and as their paths crossed
he glanced at her
sideways and said,
"there she stood so
beautiful in the rain...."
caught his eye as
he walked toward her
his blond curls
being whipped by
the incoming storm
his blue eyes gazing steadily
she tried to look away
but his contemplating
held her
and then suddenly
the sky opened
and as their paths crossed
he glanced at her
sideways and said,
"there she stood so
beautiful in the rain...."
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comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Rain...
Anonymous
18th Nov 2013 5:37pm
Built anticipation from the first... beautiful landing in that last line. Honestly enjoyed the moment, jemac. Thanks for sharing.
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re: Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 11:54pm
Thank You Scat...for stopping by and leaving such a thoughtful comment!! Much Appreciated!! :)
Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 7:01pm
Awesome write sweets!!
Beautiful piece!!
You gave Great pen!!!
Sir Lancelott
Beautiful piece!!
You gave Great pen!!!
Sir Lancelott
1
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re: Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 8:40pm
Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 8:43pm
Nice piece, love how it leads to them crossing and the guy realizing just how beautiful she is. Enjoyed the read.
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re: Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 11:51pm
Thank You Elbaby...that's a really nice way to look at it. I like that a lot!! :)
Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 8:59pm
re: Re: Rain...
18th Nov 2013 11:53pm
I totally agree with you Rain!! It is a very sensual element. Thank You Sweetie!! :)
Re: Rain...
19th Nov 2013 4:41am
Re: Rain...
19th Nov 2013 3:54pm
Aaaaaah! So sweet and romantic,
guiding us from storm to rain.
Rain means wet means sexy.
Very nice write!
guiding us from storm to rain.
Rain means wet means sexy.
Very nice write!
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re: Re: Rain...
19th Nov 2013 4:29pm