Escaping to Remember

 Over one year later
and the only thing
that hasn't changed
is that I still crave the scent of
coffee and cigarettes at dawn.
Though it has now been replaced
by a craving for
the taste
the rush
the memory
of that
  poison
of that
  love
that have become one in the same



I'm watching gray swirls of smoke
twist and turn
elegantly upward through the air
effortless
like our love once was
Studying their patterns
but they make no sense
just like us now



Suddenly the breeze shifts
my breath slows and
I feel a sense of peace
and comfort
as silky gray smoke
surrounds me
and drapes over my skin
Like a satin sheet
permeating every pore
every cell


This taste
I'm savoring
would not otherwise
be so divinely intoxicating
had it not been my first taste of you
that first taste
on a cold January night
in music city

I inhale once more....
closing my eyes
escaping to remember
and I'm there
I'm with you



Every now and then
I need this
because I will never truly
give myself to another
I need to remember
the passion in your eyes
The way you looked at me
like no one ever has
I need to see
the way a smile starts
at one corner of your mouth
and slowly spreads across to the other side
It was like watching a rare flower bloom before my eyes
The words I Love You
never sounded more
pure
than when they passed through
your lips
My heart never felt so full
until that night
my lips melted into yours


I'll never hear
the precious things
you used to say
I'll never be in
your arms again
But at least
I can have a few minutes
until this burns out
and the smoke clears
Then I'll return to reality
to this ordinary life
that I chose
Where I have to survive
Or at least exist
and live with the heart inside
that I betrayed


My beautiful Gemini
I'll always be able to
find you
see you
feel you  
somewhere between
a cloud of cigarette smoke
and bittersweet memories