I Lose

Everyday you tell me its gonna be okay
That things will get better
But right now in this moment
Nothing is fucking okay
I've been this way for 4 fucking years
If things were gonna get better they would have
But no, its resulted in
2 failed suicide attempts and a self harm addiction
And still your gonna sit here and tell me that
Its gonna be okay, it'll get better
Its not fucking okay and its not getting better
I'm getting fucking worse
This isn't a life I wanna live
If you knew what the fuck went on in my head
You'd understand why I want to take my life
Its getting harder and harder to hold on
I'm not strong anymore
You say its suicide, I say its war
I've been battling myself for too long
The more and more I fight these voices
The more I go insane
I can't hold on much longer
I've lost all hope
This is a war I'm never gonna win
I'm starting to give in
Looks like these voices are gonna win
I was dead from the start