"Happy"

I see everybody has it but me.why can't i have it like everybody? to have it,is it even in my destiny? god i wish i could have it oh so badly. i'd sell all my personal effects if that would help-nobody else can give it to me,i gotta achieve it all by myself-all i know is by me not having this,has driven me-to the bounds of insanity-all i know is this cold i feel isn't the weather-that's death approaching and it's getting hella closer-so cold,so dark,so lonely,so sad-no physical pain,just mental pain,and it hurts so damn bad-yeah i'll admit when i see others with all this joy-it makes me sick to the point i wanna play with my cold steel razor sharp toy-it don't take much for me to get discouraged,that's a known fact-when it's ashes to ashes and dust to dust that'll be that-when i'm gone nobody gonna give a damn anywayz-here i am breathing and mutha phukaz ain't givin' a phuk today-all i ever wanted in life was to be happy,be loved-all i ever got was mental stress,the love i tried to give was shoved-to hide my sadness,i joke and laugh more than usual-talk a bunch of b.s. and crack up hysterical-put on a show,so delirious-just like the joker,i ask "why so serious?-i have friends tell me "larry you should be enjoying life,you should be happy"-through my eyes,into my mentality,i'm anti happy-deaths and bad luck with jobs-oh no oh yes,i'm such a slob-why me? why me? why me? why can't i become happy? why can't i become happy? i see that your all so happy-why can't i have what you have in this life?-i larry g. jones,jr have been completely disowned by my entire family all cause i'm so crazy-that i know is partly cause for me to be so unhappy-no family,no j.o.b,no money,no lady,and no l.o.v.e-every last one says to hell with me,phuk larry-disband from all contact with me-dip my feet in concrete,then dump me into the sea-everyone will come to see my ashes off so they'll know for sure i'm really gone-so long so long so long phuk,this is the end of my song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!