The Word and Verse                                  P 1       June 2013

The word and verse is an independent publication put together
by members of DU for the purposes of entertainment and is in no
way intended to offend or cause outbursts of suicide.



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Woohoo!! summer is finally here. so it's time to throw away them woolly jumpers and beany hats. that's right, it's 'show a load of skin' time (unless you live in Britain or Ireland in which case you'll probably get away with wearing ankle socks and maybe if you're feeling really anarchy driven ..roll your sleeves up) so let's all get down to our starkers and post pics on the 'this is me in the nude thread' ..it's not there yet but we're hoping someone will start it soon after reading this.

anyway, we've put together a couple of pages for your pleasure, and we hope you enjoy them as much as we've enjoyed writing them.

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                     Savage eye

Well folks, it's been far too long. The Lord Viddax mentioned eight months (does that make him a time lord now?) Lot's happened in eight months so we'll try to keep you in the dark as much as possible.

There's been the notable absence of our favorite mother and son tag team that is Broomie and OP. ...where have they gone? I hear you ask with genuine interest. we're not sure, but last we saw, Gigi was talkin' 'bout going down there and slappin' Broomie upside the head, ruffling a few bristles as it were. Gigi ..if you made it out of The Bronx alive and need some help, try get a message through to us and we'll send some meds and a care package.


Aww, this month has seen the return of the Gemini's, the original odd couple. where have they been? well, by all accounts it would seem that Missus Gemini has got herself an ass tuck (though she later denied the said ass was attached to her body) we're not convinced, it seems on DU if you're a female and you want to boost your readership, the thing to do is post a classy, sexy, pic on your profile. enter exhibit A:

 http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poets/SPIRIT/

we'd like to say at this stage, that there's no truth in the rumors flying around about Falco's return coinciding with the return of The word and verse, it's pure coincidence. We'd thought about asking Falco to come join us, but then we read that he's been sniffing Cocaine again and hanging around the forums (watch your handbags, ladies) and we wanted to hang on to whatever petty cash we have here at HQ.  ..besides we're not sure any of us could stand ten actual minutes of his incessant annoying-ness.

Anna Grin's been sinking her teeth into the straggling gazelles on the forums, she's a quick one and she acts really tough, but we think she'd melt into a fluffy kitten if Carpe gets his head out of his ass and presents her with a few dead flowers.

Anyone else notice the huge influx of Australians onto DU over the last couple of months?  we have a couple of theories about this. We're hoping it's not Evan's private army, but last week the Mugglette stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her head and was lucky to survive the sniper shots that missed her by millimeters ( millimeters ..really small measurement used in civilized countries).


Mike the engineer has been A.W.O.L a lot lately, last this Muggle read about him was some genetic experiment involving a snail and a giraffe, aptly named by Mike as a Sniraffe. which could explain his sudden disappearance if you bring Devilish into the equation and add words like, kidnap, and  "I want that neck longer and I want at least three speeds on that tongue"  hang in there Mike, if you just wait 'til she's exhausted and try make a run for it..

also returned this month are PTM and Starlight (if you haven't checked out starlight's profile ..go, do it now ..we'll wait )      
 
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poets/Starlight_angel/

Ok, you can stop gawking now ..jeez

PTM has landed himself in cool water already with his comp apparently aimed at pushing a poor misunderstood homo to suicide by standing in front of a mirror for seven years.. it'll not work, David Blaine already tried it and he lived ..unfortunately.
  

Ok Ladies, if you can manage to get past Jack and Matt, throw your eyes on this new member

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poets/BiGS/

..they call him bigs ;)

we've just got this reaction from our Ambur ( for best results enlarge her picture)

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poets/Amber20/

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No comment


"you ain't seen nothin' yet, my dear...wait until Levi and the Vegan start fighting over you. One will want you dead and the other one will want to be your boyfriend until you actually wish you were."

-dp on the fetish thread.

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                    The new desk

Dun Dun Duuun, the Braggman's turned nasty, yes folks , I shit you not. Steve 'patience of a saint' Bragg has been throwing insults willy nilly at people without remorse. hardest hit was poor Ello who he implied was nothing like a washing machine because after throwing a load into a washing machine it doesn't ...you can work the rest out for yourself.

now, this Muggle ain't judging but it took Mr Gemini a looong time to don the shining suit of armor and come to the aid of Mrs Gemini. we think he had his nose in a heap of powdery substances and well ..priorities innit

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No Comment
  
Maggie G said: What family member would you do in if you could get away with it?

lep said: Do as in ..fuck?   I have all brothers, I like them.. but not like that, and frankly Maggie I'm reassessing our friendship after that question

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                   Psychic-Cam


Do you want to know what happens to poets when they are offline? The answers are to be found with psychic Gila Depravia. Here are her predictions and visions, and we think she’s right on the money. We saw her crystal ball, her tarot cards, her bangles and her 19 cats, and we can assure you, she’s fully certifiable – oops, certified.

Gila Depravia predicts:

Carpe Noctem and anna grin will marry in a drunken haze and have little fishies together. They won’t remember any of this, and are likely to deny it.

Mr A will receive an invitation to the White House later this year, which he will decline, then mysteriously disappear. In 30 years, the Daily Mail will run an article about his defection to Cambodia. This will be untrue, has he will actually be in Yemen, living as a camel urine trader.

 http://www.adnkronos.com/AKI/English/CultureAndMedia/?id=1.0.2330334132

And yes, in 30 years the Daily Mail will still be publishing.

Atakti takes on a contract that’s too hot to handle, to take out the CEO of Tate & Lyle Sugars. The power tendrils extend deep into the confectionery market, and the trail of business executives found strangled with licorice whips and choking on Cadbury buttons nearly catches up with her, until she discovers that Her Majesty’s government does not have an extradition treaty in place with the Maldives.

AscensionES (previously known as Vegan) establishes himself as a widely-read writer. Millions of people will admire his work, in the prestigious Hallmark Greeting Card business.

Jesta and Hemi finally commit to the long-awaited project, and publish their cookbook together, “Cookin’ Up a Hot Mess”. Their most popular recipe, Ostrich Steak with Pumpkin Mash, is hailed as ‘genius’ by Hastings Ostrich Farms, Australia.

Heslopian and lepperochan… no, no… nothing there. It must be just rumors.

Gila has also graciously agreed to give us an insight into those DU poets that have been missing from the forums lately.

Panama Judas:
The cruel handed one was seen asking for donations towards his half-marathon in aid of a mental health charity, due to be run in July.

Gila Depravia predicts:
He will go far. He is cruel but honest. You know, I am feeling that he could train harder - he would run faster given the right motivation. Yes, that’s it, I see him chasing behind an open-top bus full of rhyming, whining poets, with an enraged sense of grammar.

Gg78:

Gigi is considered the biggest talker by some poets, but has been quiet the last few weeks.

GD predicts:
If I look closely, I see… bleached corridors, white walls, medicine cabinets. My crystal ball says that Gigi has found a new home at the Danvers State Hospital, where she is allowed crayons but not cutlery. I am getting a strong sense of frustration… something about a clean inbox. She is allowed visitors, but not anyone from DU.

johnrot:

jr has gone quiet… very quiet.

GD predicts:

I cannot see his face… Wait! I see – is that a big toe? Yes, yes, it is. It is in a sandal, and I see orange robes. He is in Tibet, and has been ordained as a monk. He has taken a vow of silence, a sacred vow.

Sexpoems:

After bursting on the DU with an overblown ego, sexpoems has written a mind-blowing total of 15 poems.

GD predicts:
 
I see this ‘Ultra-Hip Multimedia Entrepreneur & Poet’ has retreated to his fortress up in Superstition Mountain. Hold on, I’m hearing words…  a lot of words…

“As a young man he used to stand outside on warm nights with his binoculars on a woman's breast and watch her through the blue window. He was looking in the wrong direction, and I hope he was frightened by what he saw.”

Oh, there’s more!

“when I'm alone in the dark writing night after night, hour until dawn, I get an overwhelming feeling of superiority despite being trapped in a time warp… I am *Certified* Grand Master, nothing will or change that Fact. It's a secret.”

What, he’s a certified Grand Master! This is so terrible, I can't believe it… What happened to the old Grand Master?

 - - end transmission - -

We're sorry, that’s all from Gila. That last reading upset her. We've had to take her to lie down in a dark room. Until next time, when - Hey!!, DP!, stay out of there!!, we locked that door for a reason!  

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                Ask the Doc

 Doc, My boyfriend and I have an open relationship, and he's very promiscuous and irresponsible. This has led to him becoming a high AIDS-risk. So my question is this: how do I convince him to stop having unprotected sex with monkeys?

Signed,  Jolly Roger


Dearest Roger

you simply can't have an open relationship and also try and limit who or what your boyfriend is open to sticking his wick into. If there is too much monkey business (in your opinion, because 'Bubbling' is fast coming back into the top 5 fetishes) I would suggest you bring home an emu and stick your wick up that for a few days. Roger will either develop an eye for the emu or the monkey will.  

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              Just Be Cause fuck you

Listen up! Stop eating those crayons, for fuck's sake. Try a jello instead. Today's flavor is pineapple.

Right. We're fucked. We're nearly out of meds, and the doctors don't come cheap. We are reliant on charity donations, and this year, crazy ain't in fashion.

We have a supporter in our midst! An athletic supporter, at that. The Cruel Handed Writer (Panama Judas) is running a half-marathon in July, and is raising money for The Mental Health Foundation.

For those of you allowed access to the internet, get your asses out of DU, and send the following link to everyone you know.

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JamieTownend

Remember, we need all the help we can get, so let's hope people dig deep. Oh, Mr Paranoid in the corner there, anonymous donations are possible. Every $1 helps, Xanax prices are up, ya know. Thanks, ya bunch of loonies.

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