deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drift
Here is the moment where we digress.
The voice raises and cracks;
a crescendo of fire and pain.
The lack of control is the venom of absence.
This is the point where we diverge,
footsteps in different directions
leading to those myriad no-wheres
where others stand waiting for our arrivals,
Now is the time for all good things,
just as they did before, to change;
to affect the way each meal tastes
and show just how blue an empty sky can be.
The voice raises and cracks;
a crescendo of fire and pain.
The lack of control is the venom of absence.
This is the point where we diverge,
footsteps in different directions
leading to those myriad no-wheres
where others stand waiting for our arrivals,
Now is the time for all good things,
just as they did before, to change;
to affect the way each meal tastes
and show just how blue an empty sky can be.
Published 17th Jun 2013
| Edited 8th Oct 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 3
comments 9
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17th Jun 2013 5:43pm
18th Jun 2013 5:51pm
Anonymous
18th Jun 2013 10:13am
when that time comes, it may be needed but not easy..great write. Potent in it's truths
18th Jun 2013 5:52pm
Spot on! The moments are crucial and painful to witness, no? Thank you for your insight.
18th Jun 2013 3:25pm
18th Jun 2013 5:57pm
Hey man! Good to see you again as well. Thanks. Yeah, the last stanza holds all the impact and actually has a lot of symbolic (and personal) meaning besides what it readily portrays. Thanks for reading. We'll have to catch up.
18th Jun 2013 11:01pm
Hey, man. Hope you're well. You might hate me for this, but I've a problem with the punctuation. You've characters that look sporadically capitalised, and I understand they are probably there to signify a new sentence, but without punctuation they look amiss. Also, you have a comma where a semi-colon should be, or a full-stop(period). Personally, I'd give it full punctuation, but as it's short, you could just wipe out the caps and comma, and it would read much more coherent.
It is good to see the juices flowing again. Hope there's more to come. Had very similar thoughts about a blue sky two days ago.
It is good to see the juices flowing again. Hope there's more to come. Had very similar thoughts about a blue sky two days ago.
19th Jun 2013 00:26am
Nah, no hate here. I'm actually not one for punctuation unless it gives impact to the way it is spoken out loud. But I went ahead and punctuated this one. See if it makes better sense now.
19th Jun 2013 10:57am
I read the same aloud, as I do in my head. Punctuation serves both voices. It reads much better now.
