Comforted

You want it
you want the
gyroscopic collection
of fucked up,

want to sacrifice your body
to make the
whirling culmination
of every damn bit of
shit in my head
the tense,
anger-grief,
the flame of the
fuck you
the frost of the
no more
the humid rain
of
yes
better

Like a cat in the long grass
haunches tight,
pupils slit,
I want that too

I don't want to crawl in your lap
don't want you to pet me
and murmur sweet nothings

I want to pounce,
boiling violence
and a smile,
push you
until you push back,
hurt you
until you're backed against the wall
cheek stinging,
eyes dark,
and have to show me
beauty and pain
are synonyms;
the braille on your back
from my nails
the thesaurus

I want to make use of your
sacrifice,
slam you against the wall,
and hit you with everything
everything
I have
everything

I don't want a fun bout of makeup sex
I want to murder you
want the coroners to
drag you out with a sheet on your face
so the neighbors stand about elbowing
each other going
That's just terrible
while thinking
what a way to go!

I want to rape you while
you force it in.
Make you feel like
it's that damn wrong.
That damn sick.
That you'll never be
clean again.

Want to steal your morals
your reserve
your everything
and suck it dry
with blows
with words,
arms pinned above my head
body a demon stallion rearing,

And I want to throw you off,
buck and arch and writhe
until it slips out,
and scream

put it back in,
you fuck

until you're battered
as a bull-rider,
and praying you can
hold on for eight more seconds.

I want to bruise your thighs.
I want terror to seep through
your spine
as your cock is crunched in me
and spit out like an afterthought

I want to make it so damn
hard
so damn hard
for you to fuck me right
you turn me over
my panties as handcuffs,
my bra as a bridle
wrapped around my neck
so you can have a little
fucking control as I
lose mine.

And I want you to ride me
bareback until you've come,
gone soft,
damn near skinned your
dick in me,
and you follow each thrust
with a hoarse growl,
because you're not
pulling out,
not
giving me leave
until I'm pliant
face down on the carpet.

You want me to make you
do it to me.

I want to.

I want to sigh
as I pull the stained sheets
over both our heads,

I want to pre-order
flowers for the funerals