Dirty Little Secret

Please feel free to comment and critique all that you like. :) I appreciate all feedback. This is something I have been working on for a while now and I hope it turns out right. Thanks for reading.

This poem is naked and dirty and very real.

Unprotected little girls helplessly suffer such sexual abuse from adults all the time around the world. Some times from the very ones that were suppose to look after them... total betrayal.

I like the tone in the last line of the poem "and she hates you too."

It sufficiently avenges the personae who apparently has nothing else to do.

Thank you, Divine. This piece is very rugged and dirty, I'm glad you could capture it. Thanks for the read and comment. :)

this poem is all too real and true. perfectly said. leaves nothing to imagination.

Thanks, Hades. Glad you likey. :)

i truely felt the depth of this piece very raw work good job!

Aw, thanks so much! I appreciate it. :D

I like this poem alot because you use a magazine and abuse as one. Its very creative and brings great imagery to mind.

Thanks for seeing the creative side of this, much appreciated! :)

impressive yet so sensual and tense = love it!

Thanks so much, Opheliac! :D

That was totally goood. How did you become so talented? :)

This is totally amazing. :)

Ummm, lot's of acid trips and carbonated cocaine syrup. ;) Thanks for likeying! :D

i like this. you said you wanted some suggestions so i've  
hidden them in the edit below as i'm too lazy to pull them  
all out. it's not that i think you should do it this way    
so much as it's a way for you to think about what you want  
to do with it.  
     
     
__Dirty Little Secret__    
     
There she lies,
spread like your favorite
porno magazine. (Sticky pages and
bent corners and all.)    
     
Her laminated eyes
reflect what you have done.
What you have been doing    
since you snatched her away.    
     
Her edges are torn.    
     
The staples in her fold
cannot hold all of you.    
     
Even as you spill your frustration    
across her poised and perfect body    
you know you will come back again.    
     
You fold her back up now,    
you tuck her in beneath your mattress
suffocating the only thing that knows you.    
     
She's your dirty little secret.    
(And she hates you too.)    
        - - -    
     
     
     
When i read it, it feels to me that it's all a fantasy,
that all he really has is a worn old magazine.
Though this magazine, which is the great metaphor here,
has become so much more... it's the mystery/spookiness
of this that really makes it for me.    
"And she hates you too." is a great last line.    
It's so wonderfully ambiguous; especially in the context    
of a fantasy since he's hating himself. For what he's done
in the past? Why all he has is the magazine? Why he's alone?    
And the dirty little secret is? ....  
 
acid trips: yep  
cocaine syrup: yep  
carbonated cocaine syrup: wow! never thought of that. how's that work/do/whatever?

Thanks, Ray. :) Yes, it is a sort of fantasy point of view. When you are lonely and all you have is a small room and a magazine you tend to fantasize a bit. It's the whole 'Mental Asylum, Padded Room' thing. No biggie. :P I will definitely take your suggestions into consideration, most of what you said is awesome. ^_^ Thanks again.

cool, since i was changing it while you were reading it it may be different now...  :)

I just noticed that.....Same stuff applies to either version. Both are clearly the shiz. :D

Really nice and well centered.  Reminded me of them old addiction days lol.

Haha, thanks. :P

amazing it was a two sided story that could mean 2 things
1)it was just a dude and a prono magazine
2) or an abusive man with a girl
you are truly an artist. i know i read this like fifty times in the comments but i love the last line...
"and she hates you too"

Thanks so much, Silverglint! I love that line too. :)

You tie both point of views together flawlessly(the girl and the magazine)
And yes I love the last line

Aww! Thanks SO much, Wondering! It means a lot to hear you say that! Thanks for commenting and reading! :D

this is haunting... liked it!

Thanks so, so, so, SO much!

All I have to say is wow!! So vivid

Absolutely fucking amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!