deepundergroundpoetry.com
seeker of knowledge
A journeyman learning his trade, was brought about lessons he spirited away, took his looks and all his books, put his etchings in place behind his shoulder, glancing back at what was gone over.
He headed for summer break, so glad school was over, the trade had made him tired, and thirsts for something more, thinking of new direction, took out a cup and poured, a taste upon 'morrow decadent and pure, saw in his eye visions, happiness assured.
He felt a new vitality, warmth in light does bring, breaking all the barriers as his soul now does sing.
http://youtu.be/Vp6tX0wxRA8
He headed for summer break, so glad school was over, the trade had made him tired, and thirsts for something more, thinking of new direction, took out a cup and poured, a taste upon 'morrow decadent and pure, saw in his eye visions, happiness assured.
He felt a new vitality, warmth in light does bring, breaking all the barriers as his soul now does sing.
http://youtu.be/Vp6tX0wxRA8
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Re: seeker of knowledge
9th May 2013 11:16pm
"took out a cup and poured, a taste upon 'morrow decadent and pure, saw in his eye visions, happiness assured" <---beautiful lines.
Thanks for sharing, Gabe! Xoxo
Thanks for sharing, Gabe! Xoxo
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
9th May 2013 11:45pm
Re: seeker of knowledge
Anonymous
9th May 2013 11:31pm
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
9th May 2013 11:46pm
re: re: Re: seeker of knowledge
Anonymous
10th May 2013 00:16am
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Re: seeker of knowledge
9th May 2013 11:40pm
Throughout life highway, learning is garnered along the way. You touch hearts and souls too, and that are the adventures of life, that may lead you to the fire of your desire. Good snippet, Soul.
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
9th May 2013 11:44pm
Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 00:38am
I really like this one, there is a nostalgic feel to it and flows beautifully.Well done!
Red
Red
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 1:44am
Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 1:08am
re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 1:45am
Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 2:21am
i think in your own words sd " the quick ramble" could use a bit more restructuring just for emphasis. it has a gr8 theme and many fabulous lines that i think lose their luster in this format.
no offense intended brotha just a million commas always kill me.
still gr8 stuff tho man..
no offense intended brotha just a million commas always kill me.
still gr8 stuff tho man..
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 2:56am
hahaha yeah I get that:)...was the only way to know where to pause a line...it was spit out...and You know me...I wont re-write...it's gone and to knew...it had a purpose this evening :)
Thanks ALWAYS JR!!!
Thanks ALWAYS JR!!!
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2018 2:45pm
10th May 2013 8:32am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 2:11pm
Re: seeker of knowledge
Anonymous
10th May 2013 11:25am
I really enjoyed this, it's well conveyed and the tone is just right-I would remove the Over from "back at was was gone over-just because the word is re-used again so soon that it, to me, impedes the message in a small way..even if left as is-it's wonderful though-nice work :-)
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re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 2:11pm
Thank You Dear Miki:) Yes You ARE right of that...it was just spit out and not thought of or reviewed by me in any way ...noshaping or trimming...or it woulda been ten times longer lol
i'll never do rewrites though...once in stone...good or bad...once in thought...gone again is the same moment...Thank You so much:)))
i'll never do rewrites though...once in stone...good or bad...once in thought...gone again is the same moment...Thank You so much:)))
Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 3:28pm
re: Re: seeker of knowledge
10th May 2013 4:11pm