Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
17th Oct 2020 4:58pm
17th Oct 2020 4:58pm
LIVE IN A PLACE
I want to live in a place ...
Where love isn't a metaphor for sex and silence isn't a metaphor for fear.
Where you can laugh all day without being considered crazy, and you help someone without expecting anything in return.
Where small talk doesn't exist and people genuinely care.
Imagine what a beautiful place that would be.
I want to go there.
I want to grow old there.
And above all,
I want to love there.
Where love isn't a metaphor for sex and silence isn't a metaphor for fear.
Where you can laugh all day without being considered crazy, and you help someone without expecting anything in return.
Where small talk doesn't exist and people genuinely care.
Imagine what a beautiful place that would be.
I want to go there.
I want to grow old there.
And above all,
I want to love there.
#happiness
#dreams
#escape
#acceptance
#healing
424 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th Oct 2020 2:31am
16th Oct 2020 2:31am
Things Aren't As They Seem
My pain and misery fall from the sky.
I try to ignore it, but it still gets by.
Surrounded with memories of what could have been,
The hatred screams from under my skin.
Pulsing through my veins is the anger I feel,
Wounds break open as soon as they seal.
My smile hides my tears,
My laugh hides my screams.
It's been this way for years,
Things are not as they seem.
On the outside I appear happy,
Without a care in the world.
Sadly - many things go untold.
Nobody really knows me,
They only know my cover.
But I wish I...
I try to ignore it, but it still gets by.
Surrounded with memories of what could have been,
The hatred screams from under my skin.
Pulsing through my veins is the anger I feel,
Wounds break open as soon as they seal.
My smile hides my tears,
My laugh hides my screams.
It's been this way for years,
Things are not as they seem.
On the outside I appear happy,
Without a care in the world.
Sadly - many things go untold.
Nobody really knows me,
They only know my cover.
But I wish I...
#anger
#grief
#frustration
#despair
#emptiness
464 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Oct 2020 4:42pm
14th Oct 2020 4:42pm
Don't Fall in Love With Me
Don't fall in love with me. Not unless you're ready for a damn fight.
I don't want frailty, or fiction and fairy tales. I want you to be irrational, because I'm irrational. Be bold. Speak your mind. I want your wildfires and obscenities. I want your passion, and priorities.
Protect what's yours, I'll defend what's ours.
Let us fight against routines and bad habits, and anything typical.
And don't you dare quit. Not on us, not on yourself. God help the person who threatens us.
Forgive me when I let you down, but don't overlook it, or allow it. We're all insecure...
I don't want frailty, or fiction and fairy tales. I want you to be irrational, because I'm irrational. Be bold. Speak your mind. I want your wildfires and obscenities. I want your passion, and priorities.
Protect what's yours, I'll defend what's ours.
Let us fight against routines and bad habits, and anything typical.
And don't you dare quit. Not on us, not on yourself. God help the person who threatens us.
Forgive me when I let you down, but don't overlook it, or allow it. We're all insecure...
#strength
#courage
#inspirational
#respect
#emotions
362 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
6th Oct 2020 9:40pm
6th Oct 2020 9:40pm
Truth
Tell the truth
Don't you see?
Tell the truth
Are you really that sick? Tell the truth
Or are you just that cruel?
Tell the truth
Don't you comprehend The hell I've gone through
The pain you've caused? The wound that was already there
The one you just reopened?
Tell the truth
Do you want me hurt? Do you want me sad ? Tell the truth
Do you need me to hate you?
To see me cry?
To watch me die?
Tell the truth
Tell it to my face
Tell it to me
Look me in the eye ...
Don't you see?
Tell the truth
Are you really that sick? Tell the truth
Or are you just that cruel?
Tell the truth
Don't you comprehend The hell I've gone through
The pain you've caused? The wound that was already there
The one you just reopened?
Tell the truth
Do you want me hurt? Do you want me sad ? Tell the truth
Do you need me to hate you?
To see me cry?
To watch me die?
Tell the truth
Tell it to my face
Tell it to me
Look me in the eye ...
#anger
#anxiety
#hate
#frustration
#confusion
361 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
5th Oct 2020 5:51pm
5th Oct 2020 5:51pm
Scared
Scared of feeling the fool
Scared of being a joke
Scared of being a loser
Scared of not knowing
Scared of knowing too much
Scared of commitment
Scared of being able to trust
Scared of being thought ugly
Scared of being thought plain
Scared of being thought stupid
Scared of trusting your brain
Scared of showing emotion
Scared of showing weakness
Scared of losing my child
Scared of losing myself
Scared of the consequences
Scared of what I may do
Scared of who I may harm
Scared...
Scared of being a joke
Scared of being a loser
Scared of not knowing
Scared of knowing too much
Scared of commitment
Scared of being able to trust
Scared of being thought ugly
Scared of being thought plain
Scared of being thought stupid
Scared of trusting your brain
Scared of showing emotion
Scared of showing weakness
Scared of losing my child
Scared of losing myself
Scared of the consequences
Scared of what I may do
Scared of who I may harm
Scared...
#anxiety
#loneliness
#rejection
#confusion
#fear
332 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Sep 2020 00:12am
23rd Sep 2020 00:12am
Alone In A Crowd
She wanders through the crowd
As is she wasn't there.
No one acknowledges her presence
She is not but a breath of air.
She opens her mouth but no sound is heard.
She walks but leaves no footprint in the sand.
She feels no warmth within her heart
She hears no one call her name.
There's nothing more painful
As being alone in a crowd.
Nothing so crushing
As having no voice.
See her
Hear her
Feel her love
She has so much she wants to give.
As is she wasn't there.
No one acknowledges her presence
She is not but a breath of air.
She opens her mouth but no sound is heard.
She walks but leaves no footprint in the sand.
She feels no warmth within her heart
She hears no one call her name.
There's nothing more painful
As being alone in a crowd.
Nothing so crushing
As having no voice.
See her
Hear her
Feel her love
She has so much she wants to give.
#sadness
#loneliness
#rejection
#heartbroken
#emptiness
368 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Sep 2020 7:53pm
22nd Sep 2020 7:53pm
My Own Enemy
I am my own worst enemy.
I know my weaknesses.
I know how to tear myself down, leave myself hopeless, confused, betrayed.
It's funny how I think I'm only looking out for myself,
When I'm really looking for how to make myself fall.
I cannot hide from myself.
I'm always lurking, waiting for a sign of weakness,
Predicting the next move,
Begging to pounce.
I'm addicted to self destruction.
I fuck myself and it kills me to know that it's all my fault.
Yet I'm still breathing.
It makes no sense.
It's not logical.
It's not...
I know my weaknesses.
I know how to tear myself down, leave myself hopeless, confused, betrayed.
It's funny how I think I'm only looking out for myself,
When I'm really looking for how to make myself fall.
I cannot hide from myself.
I'm always lurking, waiting for a sign of weakness,
Predicting the next move,
Begging to pounce.
I'm addicted to self destruction.
I fuck myself and it kills me to know that it's all my fault.
Yet I'm still breathing.
It makes no sense.
It's not logical.
It's not...
#anger
#dark
#frustration
#disappointment
#emptiness
396 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
8th Sep 2020 8:45pm
8th Sep 2020 8:45pm
Brenda's Gone
I don't mean to be someone I'm not.
I'd love to be clean
But my spirit just rots.
I've quit before
That's the easy part.
Then the addict inside
Takes over my body
And takes over my brain.
Constantly there
To keep me insane.
Brenda's gone
And what you see
Is that perfect person
I pretend to be.
The dope as my body
And has my soul.
I have my paper
And I have my pen.
And when I write
I'm Brenda again.
But then ...
I read what I wrote
And I cry
Because my words yell and scream ...
I'd love to be clean
But my spirit just rots.
I've quit before
That's the easy part.
Then the addict inside
Takes over my body
And takes over my brain.
Constantly there
To keep me insane.
Brenda's gone
And what you see
Is that perfect person
I pretend to be.
The dope as my body
And has my soul.
I have my paper
And I have my pen.
And when I write
I'm Brenda again.
But then ...
I read what I wrote
And I cry
Because my words yell and scream ...
#addiction
519 reads
8 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
8th Sep 2020 7:50pm
8th Sep 2020 7:50pm
A Beautiful Day To Be Alive
I walk through the forest and the noise of loneliness fills my head. I think about my friends and family that are long since dead.
I listen to the wind blow through the trees, on my face I feel the warm Summer breeze.
My breath deepens and my heart slows.
I slowly fall to my knees.
I hear their voices loud, I hear their voices clear.
I see their faces, through every single tear.
I realize I am alone and there is no one with me.
Where am I?
There's nothing here I recognize.
The trees begin to blend with the bushes, I cannot trust my eyes. I'm...
I listen to the wind blow through the trees, on my face I feel the warm Summer breeze.
My breath deepens and my heart slows.
I slowly fall to my knees.
I hear their voices loud, I hear their voices clear.
I see their faces, through every single tear.
I realize I am alone and there is no one with me.
Where am I?
There's nothing here I recognize.
The trees begin to blend with the bushes, I cannot trust my eyes. I'm...
#sadness
#loneliness
#hope
#courage
#emptiness
354 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
8th Sep 2020 8:58am
8th Sep 2020 8:58am
Hurt Is
How I feel most of the time.
My soul.
My spirituality.
My feet.
The pain I caused my family.
Brandi's pain.
My bank account.
My pride.
My self confidence.
My reality.
My inability to forgive myself.
My trust.
My flashbacks and nightmares.
My isolation.
My fight or flight ways.
My anger.
My journey through life.
My brain.
My soul.
My spirituality.
My feet.
The pain I caused my family.
Brandi's pain.
My bank account.
My pride.
My self confidence.
My reality.
My inability to forgive myself.
My trust.
My flashbacks and nightmares.
My isolation.
My fight or flight ways.
My anger.
My journey through life.
My brain.
#sadness
#anxiety
#frustration #disappointment
#frustration #disappointment
388 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
8th Sep 2020 8:53am
8th Sep 2020 8:53am
Stuck in the Dark
My sleep used to be peaceful.
I slept without dreams
And without bone chilling memories.
Now I wake up in tears
From the sound of my own screams.
My nights are tainted.
My world is being opened.
My inner peace destroyed.
I'm afraid to sleep
These nightmares are killing me.
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck in the dark
Afraid of the truths revealed.
The night terrors - constant
Sleep - a dIstant memory
I'd rather not sleep
Then see the horrors
Of a time once forgotten.
...
I slept without dreams
And without bone chilling memories.
Now I wake up in tears
From the sound of my own screams.
My nights are tainted.
My world is being opened.
My inner peace destroyed.
I'm afraid to sleep
These nightmares are killing me.
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck in the dark
Afraid of the truths revealed.
The night terrors - constant
Sleep - a dIstant memory
I'd rather not sleep
Then see the horrors
Of a time once forgotten.
...
#sadness
#despair
#suffering
#hurt
#fear
430 reads
0 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
7th Sep 2020 1:59pm
7th Sep 2020 1:59pm
Child Of My Past
I'm not good enough ...
I long to be good enough, yet that dream has not yet been realized and I wonder if it ever will be.
Lately I feel empty and hollow.
How did I they get this way?
What led to this?
What's wrong with me?
I feel lost.
I'm wandering around within my mind.
I don't allow myself to trust anybody to help me. Been there, done that ,
It only ends in more pain, more shame and more hurt ...
I guess I'm on my own with this.
So I write about it, because that's what I know how to do, and the writing pacifies me and...
I long to be good enough, yet that dream has not yet been realized and I wonder if it ever will be.
Lately I feel empty and hollow.
How did I they get this way?
What led to this?
What's wrong with me?
I feel lost.
I'm wandering around within my mind.
I don't allow myself to trust anybody to help me. Been there, done that ,
It only ends in more pain, more shame and more hurt ...
I guess I'm on my own with this.
So I write about it, because that's what I know how to do, and the writing pacifies me and...
#sadness
#loneliness
#rejection
#confusion
#despair
443 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
