Brenda's Gone

I don't mean to be someone I'm not.
I'd love to be clean
But my spirit just rots.
I've quit before
That's the easy part.
Then the addict inside
Takes over my body
And takes over my brain.
Constantly there
To keep me insane.
Brenda's gone
And what you see
Is that perfect person
I pretend to be.
The dope as my body
And has my soul.
I have my paper
And I have my pen.
And when I write
I'm Brenda again.
But then ...
I read what I wrote
And I cry
Because my words yell and scream
For the addict inside
To die.