Submissions by Nameless_Traveler (Andrew Kerklaan)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Ghosts
So now that I'm "dead" will you say a few words to me? Or are we pretending that ghosts don't exist either?
#brother
#sister
#memories
183 reads
Self Mutany
I'm sorry I couldn't talk myself down this time.
I tried so hard to protect you from this suicide but I feel it imminently and forlorning.
An inescapable disaster on layaway.
Beautiful and wretching. It reaches me.
Thrashing muted agony in nothing, Awareness is purgatory.
Only in stillness is night, and I bleed for this unrest.
This inverted light taxes me.
I'm shattered and unbreakable.
Crying and Laughing
I can't stop!! Somebody help me!!
I'M DYING!?
I'm so alive.
I tried so hard to protect you from this suicide but I feel it imminently and forlorning.
An inescapable disaster on layaway.
Beautiful and wretching. It reaches me.
Thrashing muted agony in nothing, Awareness is purgatory.
Only in stillness is night, and I bleed for this unrest.
This inverted light taxes me.
I'm shattered and unbreakable.
Crying and Laughing
I can't stop!! Somebody help me!!
I'M DYING!?
I'm so alive.
#bittersweet
232 reads
0 Comments
Forged
An echo in time reverberating reaches me again and again - - louder each succession
The silhouette of a suicide splatters the pavement just over my shoulder
-A piece of trash to be thrown away.
But disregard this dismissal, I'm still with you now.
This stain's presence is undeniable though, you know this has to happen eventually...
I feel as though the truth itself is captive in all this, for to speak it's name is to summon it's awful presence.
-A punishable offense to be met with seizure and entrapment in the name of...
The silhouette of a suicide splatters the pavement just over my shoulder
-A piece of trash to be thrown away.
But disregard this dismissal, I'm still with you now.
This stain's presence is undeniable though, you know this has to happen eventually...
I feel as though the truth itself is captive in all this, for to speak it's name is to summon it's awful presence.
-A punishable offense to be met with seizure and entrapment in the name of...
#suicide
#fate
454 reads
0 Comments
Wake?
What do you mean come to the wake?
Aren't you coming over still?
I thought you had a show next week...
Wasn't that you on the phone the other day?
When did we last speak?
Was it in good context as I remember it was?
I just can't conceive to believe that you're not.
How can I come to your wake when I'm still only dreaming?
Who will I go with?
Surely not you...
It couldn't be.
I just won't believe. I'm not going to leave.
I can't be at a wake for a man that...
Aren't you coming over still?
I thought you had a show next week...
Wasn't that you on the phone the other day?
When did we last speak?
Was it in good context as I remember it was?
I just can't conceive to believe that you're not.
How can I come to your wake when I'm still only dreaming?
Who will I go with?
Surely not you...
It couldn't be.
I just won't believe. I'm not going to leave.
I can't be at a wake for a man that...
#BestFriend
#death
605 reads
2 Comments
Haley
I was hesitant at first to tell you and a little scared to admit it, but when I really thought about it, one statement rang true
"Love is not time"
and that is what really stuck with me.
And this love that I hold now is for you
I love you Haley
"Love is not time"
and that is what really stuck with me.
And this love that I hold now is for you
I love you Haley
#love
644 reads
1 Comment
Don't Look Back
I want to tell you not to get too close - Not because I'm worried I will hurt you, but because I'm worried that I myself am hurting you.
Insidiously.
Bleeding you while killing me
Making you suffer instead of me.
I wish silently, against my will that you would leave.
Abandon my pretty eyes and see me without my disguise.
I don't want you to have to decide. Whether or not it would be right.
Insidiously.
Bleeding you while killing me
Making you suffer instead of me.
I wish silently, against my will that you would leave.
Abandon my pretty eyes and see me without my disguise.
I don't want you to have to decide. Whether or not it would be right.
700 reads
7 Comments
Carry On My Blessing
I want to be someone else.
I'm tired of being me.
Everyone says just to be yourself, but I just can't anymore.
I can't be that me, he's so depressing
I just want to kill him
If you let me be somebody else and I'll let you be me
I don't mind and neither will he
I'm going to be somebody interesting to me
Somebody that I would like to see
A person who was meant to be
And that other person who used to be me?
Well, he could finally rest easy...
I'm tired of being me.
Everyone says just to be yourself, but I just can't anymore.
I can't be that me, he's so depressing
I just want to kill him
If you let me be somebody else and I'll let you be me
I don't mind and neither will he
I'm going to be somebody interesting to me
Somebody that I would like to see
A person who was meant to be
And that other person who used to be me?
Well, he could finally rest easy...
#PopCulture
535 reads
3 Comments
Conflict II
Money alone chips away at sanctioned walls
Porous, your deflection is my bane
I loath the chasm this singularity has instilled between us.
Written and published by Nameless_Traveler -- Andrew Frans Robert Kerklaan
Porous, your deflection is my bane
I loath the chasm this singularity has instilled between us.
Written and published by Nameless_Traveler -- Andrew Frans Robert Kerklaan
#LifeAsAWriter
499 reads
0 Comments
It Feeds
Turns out the joke's on me yet again...
Monsters don't really disappear when the light comes on.
And they don't hide when you shine the light on them either.
No. Instead they rise up, and grow to fill the space that was created by spotlighting it and become ready-
Ready to be the star of a show that you helped to curate.
I thought for certainty that talking to you about my suicide would somehow alleviate it in some way...
but it didn't...
I...
Monsters don't really disappear when the light comes on.
And they don't hide when you shine the light on them either.
No. Instead they rise up, and grow to fill the space that was created by spotlighting it and become ready-
Ready to be the star of a show that you helped to curate.
I thought for certainty that talking to you about my suicide would somehow alleviate it in some way...
but it didn't...
I...
#LifeAsAWriter
533 reads
2 Comments
My Pain
I have suicidal depression--
and no, I don't want to tell you about it.
I'd rather hide it from you (if I could)
And bury it the way you might do with someone you once loved
Maybe sharing their pain if only just for the moment...
I don't want you to sympathize with me either. It's not that kind of sad I'm afraid..
I need this to hurt me, because if it doesn't I won't learn that it isn't okay to feel this way.
A long and outlasting life will be my...
and no, I don't want to tell you about it.
I'd rather hide it from you (if I could)
And bury it the way you might do with someone you once loved
Maybe sharing their pain if only just for the moment...
I don't want you to sympathize with me either. It's not that kind of sad I'm afraid..
I need this to hurt me, because if it doesn't I won't learn that it isn't okay to feel this way.
A long and outlasting life will be my...
#PopCulture
605 reads
2 Comments
Summing It Up
I have an incurable form of depression that manifests itself in the form of suicidal thoughts, exclusion from participation in living activities and listlessness
It gives me no greater desire then the desire to not be a part of my own life
I am inert
I feel no need to be here and I take no pleasure in taking part in this moment
It kind of feels like letting go of something you cannot physically release.
The choice is not given... Exactly
I simply Must erraticate and nothing short of my own demise will suffice.
...
It gives me no greater desire then the desire to not be a part of my own life
I am inert
I feel no need to be here and I take no pleasure in taking part in this moment
It kind of feels like letting go of something you cannot physically release.
The choice is not given... Exactly
I simply Must erraticate and nothing short of my own demise will suffice.
...
#PopCulture
651 reads
5 Comments
This Place
Sometimes I feel like I came to this place for someone else...
I don't think I was ever supposed to be here but my empathy ties me to this place.
I believe that one day I will leave this place...
...Maybe when my disinterest overtakes me or when I finally find that "bottom" part of rock bottom and fall through it to something better
I'm reaching for somewhere that does not exist in this place
--
My place
Written and published by Nameless_Traveler -- Andrew...
I don't think I was ever supposed to be here but my empathy ties me to this place.
I believe that one day I will leave this place...
...Maybe when my disinterest overtakes me or when I finally find that "bottom" part of rock bottom and fall through it to something better
I'm reaching for somewhere that does not exist in this place
--
My place
Written and published by Nameless_Traveler -- Andrew...
#LifeAsAWriter
604 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Nameless_Traveler (Andrew Kerklaan)