My Pain

I have suicidal depression--  
                                        and no,  I don't want to tell you about it.  
 
I'd rather hide it from you  (if I could)
         
   And bury it the way you might do with someone you once loved  
 
Maybe sharing their pain if only just for the moment...  
 
I don't want you to sympathize with me either. It's not that kind of sad I'm afraid..  
 
I need this to hurt me, because if it doesn't I won't learn that it isn't okay to feel this way.  
 
A long and outlasting life will be my punishment for this.  I will die in valour and bury this axe where cessation lies dormant  
 
Never to be shared with you  
 
My sickness fully contained.  I will vanquish this demon inside myself.  
 
I will starve before it feeds. I solemnly swear this exorcism on your behalf.  
 
You will never know  
 
My pain.  
   
   
   
Written and published by Nameless_Traveler   -- Andrew Frans Robert Kerklaan