Self Mutany

I'm sorry I couldn't talk myself down this time.
I tried so hard to protect you from this suicide but I feel it imminently and forlorning.  
 
An inescapable disaster on layaway.
 
Beautiful and wretching. It reaches me.
 
Thrashing muted agony in nothing, Awareness is purgatory.  
 
Only in stillness is night, and I bleed for this unrest.

This inverted light taxes me.
 
I'm shattered and unbreakable.
Crying and Laughing
 
I can't stop!! Somebody help me!!
I'M DYING!?  
I'm so alive.