Submissions by MariahEatsBabies13 (MariahDoll)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Tattered soul
Teeth rotting...
Just waiting for the day they'll fall out.
Stomach empty...
Still no desire for food.
I lay here, a weak 95lbs...
Lost for words.
Not sure if I remember how to speak... My mouth feels like cotton, so I doubt if I'd even be able to get a word out. Who'd want to hear my voice spit pointless vowels?... I even hate hearing me speak. I'm just a shell of somebody I used to be. Forever dammed with past memories... Shunned by society. Labeled as a dope fiend. The tar don't judge... She listens and indulges my greatest fantasies.
I breathe her...
Just waiting for the day they'll fall out.
Stomach empty...
Still no desire for food.
I lay here, a weak 95lbs...
Lost for words.
Not sure if I remember how to speak... My mouth feels like cotton, so I doubt if I'd even be able to get a word out. Who'd want to hear my voice spit pointless vowels?... I even hate hearing me speak. I'm just a shell of somebody I used to be. Forever dammed with past memories... Shunned by society. Labeled as a dope fiend. The tar don't judge... She listens and indulges my greatest fantasies.
I breathe her...
894 reads
4 Comments
Day By Day
Perfection ...
Something I tried so hard to obtain.
Saying that aloud makes me feel quite insane.
Tired of this life ...
I keep ending up in the same damn place
But ain't shit gonna change.
I have a problem ...
I left it to fester.
4 years later,
I'm still here.
At first it was given to me as a "sweet gesture"
Now I'm shaking,
Breaking out into cold sweats,
My whole body is aching.
I'm able to own up to my shit without a bit of disdain.
But I sure as hell don't have a smile on my face.
This life ain't for nobody ...
Something I tried so hard to obtain.
Saying that aloud makes me feel quite insane.
Tired of this life ...
I keep ending up in the same damn place
But ain't shit gonna change.
I have a problem ...
I left it to fester.
4 years later,
I'm still here.
At first it was given to me as a "sweet gesture"
Now I'm shaking,
Breaking out into cold sweats,
My whole body is aching.
I'm able to own up to my shit without a bit of disdain.
But I sure as hell don't have a smile on my face.
This life ain't for nobody ...
800 reads
6 Comments
Rebirth
Rebirth
I stand in front of the mirror,
ashamed of the person staring back at me.
Emotionless ...
Are her eyes,
just as empty as her soul.
The expression on her face shows defeat.
I'd be surprised if it were any other way.
Who would want to feel her pain?
Experience her losses?
Channel her thoughts?
Her mind ...
The mind of a lost soul,
wandering aimlessly.
So much potential,
so much talent ...
Just put to...
I stand in front of the mirror,
ashamed of the person staring back at me.
Emotionless ...
Are her eyes,
just as empty as her soul.
The expression on her face shows defeat.
I'd be surprised if it were any other way.
Who would want to feel her pain?
Experience her losses?
Channel her thoughts?
Her mind ...
The mind of a lost soul,
wandering aimlessly.
So much potential,
so much talent ...
Just put to...
778 reads
0 Comments
My Life
Fears ...
Too many to count
Tears ...
Enough to cleanse this drought
Life ...
So rough
Time is flying by ...
Man, this shit is tough.
13 years old introduced to meth
Realizing now it's the cause of my own death.
Everything turned sour ...
As each second passed by.
I'm trying to find faith in a "higher power"
To release the pain...
And rid myself of all this regret.
Chained to temptation ...
No wonder I can't rest.
The world around me is crashing,
Fading...
Too many to count
Tears ...
Enough to cleanse this drought
Life ...
So rough
Time is flying by ...
Man, this shit is tough.
13 years old introduced to meth
Realizing now it's the cause of my own death.
Everything turned sour ...
As each second passed by.
I'm trying to find faith in a "higher power"
To release the pain...
And rid myself of all this regret.
Chained to temptation ...
No wonder I can't rest.
The world around me is crashing,
Fading...
971 reads
4 Comments
The Old Me
The Old Me
As I sit here on my couch
I look back and see my reflection in the window
I take notice of this person
Someone I don't even know
I try to look back even further
Trying to figure out where I went wrong
Remembering all my mistakes
Regretting each one of them
So many bridges burnt
All to ashes
Somewhat like my hopes and dreams
All because I lost my better judgment
And wanted to live rule free
Look where it got me ...
Reminiscing on the past
I realize now I literally smoked my life away...
As I sit here on my couch
I look back and see my reflection in the window
I take notice of this person
Someone I don't even know
I try to look back even further
Trying to figure out where I went wrong
Remembering all my mistakes
Regretting each one of them
So many bridges burnt
All to ashes
Somewhat like my hopes and dreams
All because I lost my better judgment
And wanted to live rule free
Look where it got me ...
Reminiscing on the past
I realize now I literally smoked my life away...
790 reads
8 Comments
The Mind Of A Closet Tweaker
I'm living a lie ...
Wearing a mask,
Avoiding the truth,
Running from my past.
I'm so ashamed.
Guilt ices the cake of my heart.
I wish I could undo the mistakes I've made.
Given the chance,
I honestly don't know where I'd even start.
I'm living two separate lives ...
I've never felt so lost.
I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong.
But I can't control this inner want ...
I have an undying need for drugs.
Not knowing right from wrong ...
I act on my impulses.
My better judgment is long gone. ...
Wearing a mask,
Avoiding the truth,
Running from my past.
I'm so ashamed.
Guilt ices the cake of my heart.
I wish I could undo the mistakes I've made.
Given the chance,
I honestly don't know where I'd even start.
I'm living two separate lives ...
I've never felt so lost.
I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong.
But I can't control this inner want ...
I have an undying need for drugs.
Not knowing right from wrong ...
I act on my impulses.
My better judgment is long gone. ...
3366 reads
8 Comments
Sweet Persuasion
Well, it's nice to finally meet you.
I've been waiting for your call.
I've noticed you've been crying,
And I've watched you pace the halls.
Whatever has been hurting you,
I can make it disappear.
You know you have nothing to lose,
Nothing to live for, nothing to fear.
Thank you, for your invention.
I'll be sure not to leave your side.
We'll become very fast acquainted.
My naive child, there's no use trying to hide.
I should probably introduce myself.
I am your very own addiction.
But, you can not...
I've been waiting for your call.
I've noticed you've been crying,
And I've watched you pace the halls.
Whatever has been hurting you,
I can make it disappear.
You know you have nothing to lose,
Nothing to live for, nothing to fear.
Thank you, for your invention.
I'll be sure not to leave your side.
We'll become very fast acquainted.
My naive child, there's no use trying to hide.
I should probably introduce myself.
I am your very own addiction.
But, you can not...
1035 reads
8 Comments
The Voice of Crystal Meth
Listen to me.
I'm your commander.
Fall down to your knees.
Listen closely ...
You love the sex,
You love the drugs,
You hate life itself.
Why do you stand strong?
You have nothing in your so called life,
You act just like your mom.
You always come short,
So you give into my calls.
You think you're perfect?
I see only flaws!
You look so pathetic
But I could care less
You are stuck in my trap
You must play by my rules
Every order that comes from my lips you must do
I know you...
I'm your commander.
Fall down to your knees.
Listen closely ...
You love the sex,
You love the drugs,
You hate life itself.
Why do you stand strong?
You have nothing in your so called life,
You act just like your mom.
You always come short,
So you give into my calls.
You think you're perfect?
I see only flaws!
You look so pathetic
But I could care less
You are stuck in my trap
You must play by my rules
Every order that comes from my lips you must do
I know you...
1430 reads
10 Comments
The Light of Truth
I keep giving into temptation,
listening to the devils serenity.
Easily persuased.
How could I turn down such a good offer?
"Do what you want and not what you must"
Sounds too good to be true ...
There is always a bargain.
Its sad how willing you can be to trade part of your soul
for a glimpse of a false reality.
The weak will always give in
But the strong won't fall for sweet blasphemy.
Shines on me the light of truth.
He hands me choices,
I have to seek within myself to choose.
God has given me the answer.
I just have...
listening to the devils serenity.
Easily persuased.
How could I turn down such a good offer?
"Do what you want and not what you must"
Sounds too good to be true ...
There is always a bargain.
Its sad how willing you can be to trade part of your soul
for a glimpse of a false reality.
The weak will always give in
But the strong won't fall for sweet blasphemy.
Shines on me the light of truth.
He hands me choices,
I have to seek within myself to choose.
God has given me the answer.
I just have...
858 reads
4 Comments
Mommy dearest
My mind is growing weary
as I sit here with a swollen face ...
My mother likes to beat me,
but this time I put her in her place.
She threw her fist at my face,
my sister was in tears.
This time I wasn't going to sit still,
So I forgot about my fears.
I pounded my fist against her face and
ripped out chunks of hair.
Tore her necklace off her chest,
but fuck I didn't care.
I'm sick of getting treated like shit,
I'm done getting walked all over.
I let my anger run free
and before I knew it my sister was infront of me.
I lost...
as I sit here with a swollen face ...
My mother likes to beat me,
but this time I put her in her place.
She threw her fist at my face,
my sister was in tears.
This time I wasn't going to sit still,
So I forgot about my fears.
I pounded my fist against her face and
ripped out chunks of hair.
Tore her necklace off her chest,
but fuck I didn't care.
I'm sick of getting treated like shit,
I'm done getting walked all over.
I let my anger run free
and before I knew it my sister was infront of me.
I lost...
875 reads
2 Comments
Back in Reality
I gave up on the drug ...
or did the drug give up on me?
It's crystal clear ...
but I'm too blind to see.
The light in me has faded away
I'm losing a little more of myself everyday.
I just want these thoughts to go away ...
so I can live up to my expectations
and have just one good day.
But the thought of the drug,
how it makes feel
these memories get stuck in my mind,
every second I'm just wasting time.
I could score a sack
and get up for a day and a half
but then what???
Deal with coming down ...
get thrown...
or did the drug give up on me?
It's crystal clear ...
but I'm too blind to see.
The light in me has faded away
I'm losing a little more of myself everyday.
I just want these thoughts to go away ...
so I can live up to my expectations
and have just one good day.
But the thought of the drug,
how it makes feel
these memories get stuck in my mind,
every second I'm just wasting time.
I could score a sack
and get up for a day and a half
but then what???
Deal with coming down ...
get thrown...
1107 reads
2 Comments
Lost
Lost
I'm stuck in this hell,
gasping for air.
The sad thing is
no one seems to even care.
I want to scream for help
but I don't have the drive
to even try ...
I just want to be alone
fading away slowly,
but at least its on my own.
I can see why they all gave up,
I would too.
But I'm trying to change,
what else can I do???
I'm searching for that light
to guide me to do what's right.
I still can't give up on me ...
I have to fight!
I just need someone to reassure me
that everythings going to be...
I'm stuck in this hell,
gasping for air.
The sad thing is
no one seems to even care.
I want to scream for help
but I don't have the drive
to even try ...
I just want to be alone
fading away slowly,
but at least its on my own.
I can see why they all gave up,
I would too.
But I'm trying to change,
what else can I do???
I'm searching for that light
to guide me to do what's right.
I still can't give up on me ...
I have to fight!
I just need someone to reassure me
that everythings going to be...
867 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by MariahEatsBabies13 (MariahDoll)