Day By Day

Perfection ...
Something I tried so hard to obtain.
Saying that aloud makes me feel quite insane.
Tired of this life ...
I keep ending up in the same damn place
But ain't shit gonna change.
I have a problem ...
I left it to fester.
4 years later,
I'm still here.
At first it was given to me as a "sweet gesture"
Now I'm shaking,
Breaking out into cold sweats,
My whole body is aching.

I'm able to own up to my shit without a bit of disdain.
But I sure as hell don't have a smile on my face.
This life ain't for nobody
And it sure as hell ain't for me ...
Life was once good.
Shit, it was great.
Somehow I wandered away ...
Away from my family,
Away from love,
Away from my morals,
Away from my life.
I left the real world,
Cause I hated reality.
How naive, dishonest, and disloyal people were,
My family was; still is.

I hated seeing all this ugliness around me ...
So I tried to escape.
Coming to realization,
I saw that ugliness lived inside everybody.
I know I will never live a day in my life where there is no judgement
But I can live without it interfering mine.
None of you will ever understand my pain.
It's pointless to break it down for you,
But that's okay.
I know I'm not perfect ...
I'm far from it
But I have a good heart
And that goes a long way.

Through my tribulations I found my strength.
I know now, I'm unbreakable ...
And most importantly;
Capable.
I've come so far
and have not once lost my faith.
The Lord does work in mysterious ways.
With that being said ...
Only HE can judge me.

Ima live my life,
day by day ...
and prepare myself for whatever comes my way.

Written by: Mariah Dalli 💗