Submissions by Fizzle (Ammiture)

She was kind to me. She liked me so much. I couldn’t handle that.  
What was she thinking? She didn’t even know me!  
Phony. That is what people are. Phony. Everyone is everyone else, filtered.  
Filtered through what?  
What is a who?  
How can a cloud of atoms think? How can a cloud of particles desire?  
How could she know me when I don’t know myself?! Who knows themselves?!  
Fuck her for thinking she knows something!  
Oh, she wants me, does she?! No she doesn’t!  
Her electrons just settled there.  
What is love? It’s not a...

I am a coward
stuck in my own head but not even present there.
I hate the world.
What do I see when I look at you, whoever you are?
I see what I could be. I see what I am not.
I get you. I could be you, in another world.
Give me that world and I will be…
Oh, will I be!

Their problems aren’t real. Their successes are unrelenting.
These animals. They have it all figured out.
Why do they torment me?
Cruel fucks!
It’s not fair. I hate them.
I hate them.
I hate them.
I want to be them.

Late morning sun breaches blinds,    
   I stir; you invite me    
…lost in a damp cave,    
      heat    
i stand strait, hungry.    
       slowly, you feel me.    
your trembling beckons me closer—    
      mischievous: I retreat    
mouth agape, your eyes dart—piercing the depth of me,    
your beauty hypnotizes    
      my hunger grows…I am at your command    
         deeper, faster    
evaporation carries sweet nectar to my breath    
      captivated, i grow more powerful    
       you writhe     ...