Love Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about lost love, heartbreak and relationship problems
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
The Bus Driver’s Game Pt. 2
In the clatter of the bus, where laughter rides high,
She steers through the streets as daylight drifts by.
With hands on the wheel and a smile like a net,
Oh, my heart skips a beat—she plays hard to get.
Her favorite color? A subtle gray hue;
Like clouds in the sky when they’re not sure what’s due.
And daisies all wild, with their quirky display—
Crazy little blooms that could brighten her day.
I whispered sweet plans while she counted her fare,
“I’d buy you some gifts! Just give me a dare.”
But she...
She steers through the streets as daylight drifts by.
With hands on the wheel and a smile like a net,
Oh, my heart skips a beat—she plays hard to get.
Her favorite color? A subtle gray hue;
Like clouds in the sky when they’re not sure what’s due.
And daisies all wild, with their quirky display—
Crazy little blooms that could brighten her day.
I whispered sweet plans while she counted her fare,
“I’d buy you some gifts! Just give me a dare.”
But she...
#emotions
#inspirational
#love
#MyInspiration
#obsession
15 reads
0 Comments
The Bus Driver’s Game
In a city humming, wheels on the street,
Behind the wheel, she greets with a beat.
A bus driver charming, though hard to connect,
With laughter and teasing—so blissfully unchecked.
Her hair catches sunlight in shades of soft gray,
She drives past my heart each and every day.
I try to approach her with words I can’t bring;
But she just raises brows as if sensing my sting.
“Why not spend your money? It’s yours after all!”
With playful indifference tucked into her thrall.
While...
Behind the wheel, she greets with a beat.
A bus driver charming, though hard to connect,
With laughter and teasing—so blissfully unchecked.
Her hair catches sunlight in shades of soft gray,
She drives past my heart each and every day.
I try to approach her with words I can’t bring;
But she just raises brows as if sensing my sting.
“Why not spend your money? It’s yours after all!”
With playful indifference tucked into her thrall.
While...
#crush
#LifeAsAWriter
#romantic
#temptation
#WritingPoetry
16 reads
0 Comments
Vamonos
Let's go darlin
into the night to get lost in the dark
Pretty little affliction is my disposition
But you like it
I'm feeling myself
Your accentation of self makes me smile
with thoughts of your masculine greed
ego intact I worship
deeply intelligent affecting my senses
there is nothing I can deny you
penetrating the moment
you enter my sacred fuck
it is beautiful to feel your force
hunger edging into the abyss
pushing me in
where I catch a glimpse of your demons
smiling at me Yes girly, we...
into the night to get lost in the dark
Pretty little affliction is my disposition
But you like it
I'm feeling myself
Your accentation of self makes me smile
with thoughts of your masculine greed
ego intact I worship
deeply intelligent affecting my senses
there is nothing I can deny you
penetrating the moment
you enter my sacred fuck
it is beautiful to feel your force
hunger edging into the abyss
pushing me in
where I catch a glimpse of your demons
smiling at me Yes girly, we...
#lust
34 reads
2 Comments
Oh Happy Day
Oh sunny day welcomes me in
beautiful sunlit flowers smile up at me
while their tree guardians take note
the birds resting in their boughs
leaves rustling slightly
while their branches praise the blue
the sky reaches on forever
a home for the sun
The earth rotates lazily as the day progresses on
She is interactive, our mother
she gives as she receives
I notice that on days I'm stormy
and stomping out about the property
She will reach out and trip me
admonishing me to be kind
the energy I'm...
beautiful sunlit flowers smile up at me
while their tree guardians take note
the birds resting in their boughs
leaves rustling slightly
while their branches praise the blue
the sky reaches on forever
a home for the sun
The earth rotates lazily as the day progresses on
She is interactive, our mother
she gives as she receives
I notice that on days I'm stormy
and stomping out about the property
She will reach out and trip me
admonishing me to be kind
the energy I'm...
#flowers
#nature
#trees
49 reads
11 Comments
Seven
Six times I have laid my head on death-beds
if you have never felt the warmth of a corpse,
then please, leave your heart on library shelves
And then the seventh
words hollower than Auschwitz choirs,
her silence was the midnight rain
falling in pavement cracks ,
but I felt the breath on her lips
collected in my pillow jar,
forever yesterday, our love will always
be the lighthouse where not even
drowned sailors can reach
And then the eighth…
promises are merely rotten fruits
stowed in hearts of Summer orchards, ...
if you have never felt the warmth of a corpse,
then please, leave your heart on library shelves
And then the seventh
words hollower than Auschwitz choirs,
her silence was the midnight rain
falling in pavement cracks ,
but I felt the breath on her lips
collected in my pillow jar,
forever yesterday, our love will always
be the lighthouse where not even
drowned sailors can reach
And then the eighth…
promises are merely rotten fruits
stowed in hearts of Summer orchards, ...
#death
#love
35 reads
2 Comments
Let’s Take Each Other To Hell One Last Time
I’ve always had a way
with the petrified and scared
despite the way my body pulses
aposematic signals
from the scarred knuckles and hulking frame
to the frown lines etched into my face
and I wonder if it’s
because of a sympathetic-nervous-system response
reminiscent of the times I hid in a closet and read books
my small boy body discoloured in the hue
of the beating I took
adrenaline still pounding through my trembling flesh
or if it was because I didn’t care if I got hurt ...
with the petrified and scared
despite the way my body pulses
aposematic signals
from the scarred knuckles and hulking frame
to the frown lines etched into my face
and I wonder if it’s
because of a sympathetic-nervous-system response
reminiscent of the times I hid in a closet and read books
my small boy body discoloured in the hue
of the beating I took
adrenaline still pounding through my trembling flesh
or if it was because I didn’t care if I got hurt ...
#beauty
#forgiveness
59 reads
2 Comments
"The Kraken's Kiss: A Pirate's Love Song"
The plank creaks low, a shadow's hungry maw,
As Captain Lovebird, with a gilded claw,
Demands a verse, where heart and horror twine,
A love-sick ballad, steeped in rum and brine.
No gentle swain, with roses 'neath his arm,
But gnarled corsairs, where dark desires swarm.
One-eyed Jack, with teeth of tarnished gold,
And Peg-Leg Pete, whose tales are fiercely told.
Their faces etched with storms and savage nights,
Yet in their souls, a flickering love light ignites.
"Sing of the sea," they roar, with breath like...
As Captain Lovebird, with a gilded claw,
Demands a verse, where heart and horror twine,
A love-sick ballad, steeped in rum and brine.
No gentle swain, with roses 'neath his arm,
But gnarled corsairs, where dark desires swarm.
One-eyed Jack, with teeth of tarnished gold,
And Peg-Leg Pete, whose tales are fiercely told.
Their faces etched with storms and savage nights,
Yet in their souls, a flickering love light ignites.
"Sing of the sea," they roar, with breath like...
#hope
#inspirational
#love
#mermaids
#redemption
39 reads
6 Comments
Amnesia and the taste of pleather
My love notes on your shirt
grew as sticky
as the air
in my wasted lungs
and the feel of your
forehead against mine
scared the shit out of me. again.
angered me. again.
fucked me up in what I
can only brand as the
flavor of
us;
and our version of love
is poison in a diet-coke can
served ice-fucking cold
again.
your warm mouth traced
hope on my...
grew as sticky
as the air
in my wasted lungs
and the feel of your
forehead against mine
scared the shit out of me. again.
angered me. again.
fucked me up in what I
can only brand as the
flavor of
us;
and our version of love
is poison in a diet-coke can
served ice-fucking cold
again.
your warm mouth traced
hope on my...
#forgiveness
#hope
#hurt
#lust
#obsession
73 reads
4 Comments
in your reverie find me
my thoughts find you in your reverie
content to sit in silence and listen to you dream
landscapes full of adventure and love pure
unadulterated lust, romantic and alluring
Your stars amaze me
They rotate in your universe, leaving glitter for me to follow
and I do follow you into the deep
where you don't speak for weeks
in your alone space
my soul feels yours
and you know me, I want to utter calm to your chaos
but I get caught up in the storm
you eye me, pinning me with a stare
my lovely dreaming captivates ...
content to sit in silence and listen to you dream
landscapes full of adventure and love pure
unadulterated lust, romantic and alluring
Your stars amaze me
They rotate in your universe, leaving glitter for me to follow
and I do follow you into the deep
where you don't speak for weeks
in your alone space
my soul feels yours
and you know me, I want to utter calm to your chaos
but I get caught up in the storm
you eye me, pinning me with a stare
my lovely dreaming captivates ...
#love
64 reads
3 Comments
When you down and out
How many of us remember these great words from a popular song, that nobody wants you when you are down and out.😞 For sure those words hold true to life, for how many of us have been in that kind of situation, when life situations have you feeling like that nobody wants you around 🤔 YET when you was up on your grind coming up it's funny, how they want you around, to get help with their own situations whether it's a conversation or in caring words or it's cash or a helping hand. 🤨 But yet they remember your name and the helping hand, you done for them when they needed...
#dialogue
#LifeStruggles
#metaphor
#sadness
#StreamOfConsciousness
37 reads
0 Comments
CUPID ON RE-CALL
Who is that baby angel with a bow
Shooting arrows to and fro
Stinging men and women in the arm
Introducing them to luck and charm?
Love is definitely in the air
Look at Cupid flying there!
Heaven’s curio missing the archery
Cupid to strike NOT an artery!
Quick! Quick! Sound the alarm!
Fly and search the fields and barn!
Cupid’s missing and at large!
Meddling, striking, and free to barge!
Citizens from everywhere
Be vigilant and be aware
Cupid’s a baby – What...
Shooting arrows to and fro
Stinging men and women in the arm
Introducing them to luck and charm?
Love is definitely in the air
Look at Cupid flying there!
Heaven’s curio missing the archery
Cupid to strike NOT an artery!
Quick! Quick! Sound the alarm!
Fly and search the fields and barn!
Cupid’s missing and at large!
Meddling, striking, and free to barge!
Citizens from everywhere
Be vigilant and be aware
Cupid’s a baby – What...
#love
#ValentinesDay
2 reads
0 Comments
Fifteen minutes with you.....
Sunlight shade turned
your face from blue into wine,
how I drunk from the barrels of your beauty
Hungover, even too shy,
to leave my desires on poetry walls
the third pillow was always too far
too far, to hold you in the night
your face from blue into wine,
how I drunk from the barrels of your beauty
Hungover, even too shy,
to leave my desires on poetry walls
the third pillow was always too far
too far, to hold you in the night
#UnrequitedLove
42 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Love Poems and Poetry Seeking Critique about Heartbreak, Lost Love and Relationship Problems