Love Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about lost love, heartbreak and relationship problems
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
SATIVA
I found her in a gutter—or was it by the road?
A place no puppy should ever call home.
Small and shivering, she stumbled through dust,
a beige bundle of fur, cloaked in ticks and mistrust.
Jesse begged, pleaded, vowed she'd care,
Her voice carried promises, heavy with air.
No leash, no collar, no history to bind—
Just a stray, and a thought: She’s ours to find.
June 17th, she came to stay,
A tiny life, beige as dawn’s first ray.
No bigger than the palm of a grown man’s hand,
Yet she filled a void we didn’t understand.
...
A place no puppy should ever call home.
Small and shivering, she stumbled through dust,
a beige bundle of fur, cloaked in ticks and mistrust.
Jesse begged, pleaded, vowed she'd care,
Her voice carried promises, heavy with air.
No leash, no collar, no history to bind—
Just a stray, and a thought: She’s ours to find.
June 17th, she came to stay,
A tiny life, beige as dawn’s first ray.
No bigger than the palm of a grown man’s hand,
Yet she filled a void we didn’t understand.
...
#dogs
#love
3 reads
0 Comments
sincere
loneliness emits a certain keen
if you're listening you will hear it
an emptiness that gnaws at the soul
indifferent to my own pain
it sometimes rises with pangs of ache
and I am taken aback
doubled over with pain
my heart's sorrow clearly seen
hidden deep within, I swallow it down
regretful emotion, I don't want you to see me this way
it hurts my pride to know you get to me
salvation in a hugs sometimes that's all it takes
a smile, to keep those uneasy feelings at bay
tender emotion, when I can express...
if you're listening you will hear it
an emptiness that gnaws at the soul
indifferent to my own pain
it sometimes rises with pangs of ache
and I am taken aback
doubled over with pain
my heart's sorrow clearly seen
hidden deep within, I swallow it down
regretful emotion, I don't want you to see me this way
it hurts my pride to know you get to me
salvation in a hugs sometimes that's all it takes
a smile, to keep those uneasy feelings at bay
tender emotion, when I can express...
#emptiness
#loneliness
#love
19 reads
1 Comment
As it all falls down
I am sorry that you are here
with me
in this moment.
I know you'd rather be with
anyone
else.
And I am sad.
And you are there.
And we are stuck here.
This is an elevator that is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and
I am here with you.
I wouldn't want to be with
anyone
else.
And I feel your hand.
And your touch is soft.
And we are here together.
This is...
with me
in this moment.
I know you'd rather be with
anyone
else.
And I am sad.
And you are there.
And we are stuck here.
This is an elevator that is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and it is falling
and
I am here with you.
I wouldn't want to be with
anyone
else.
And I feel your hand.
And your touch is soft.
And we are here together.
This is...
#depression
#healing
#learning
#MentalHealth
#relationships
26 reads
1 Comment
the room
the forgotten room was lifeless
in the noon sunlight where only dust motes float
it has seen beautiful days, where laughter bounce off it's walls
and gossip made the wallpaper blush
intimate moments when secrets were shared and tears shed
a sanctuary concealing children in it's cuphoards
during a playful game of hide and seek
the room bonded with the family over births and death
they shared extrordinary moments
when the men landed on the moon
sorrowful days when Elvis died
and frightening moments of despair
after...
in the noon sunlight where only dust motes float
it has seen beautiful days, where laughter bounce off it's walls
and gossip made the wallpaper blush
intimate moments when secrets were shared and tears shed
a sanctuary concealing children in it's cuphoards
during a playful game of hide and seek
the room bonded with the family over births and death
they shared extrordinary moments
when the men landed on the moon
sorrowful days when Elvis died
and frightening moments of despair
after...
#love
38 reads
2 Comments
beautiful
a sigh escapes me and I chase it to where it flee
my dreams float away on a breeze
holding tight to my visions
aware of my short comings
still I have hope
yielding to sorrow, I let it have it's say
broken of heart, I have to rise above it
a woman in the world
I try not to be seen
no notice taken, this frightens me
to have people stare
I drift on the winds, invisible
touch the sky, I dream new dreams
they're are in my grasp
my faith, renewed
my beauty, viewed
with belief it will be okay ...
my dreams float away on a breeze
holding tight to my visions
aware of my short comings
still I have hope
yielding to sorrow, I let it have it's say
broken of heart, I have to rise above it
a woman in the world
I try not to be seen
no notice taken, this frightens me
to have people stare
I drift on the winds, invisible
touch the sky, I dream new dreams
they're are in my grasp
my faith, renewed
my beauty, viewed
with belief it will be okay ...
#hope
#love
44 reads
4 Comments
Baiting The Wind
She came as a cool autumn breeze, blowing about wildly and free.
Her presence touched every inch of me, from my head down to my feet.
She whispered in my ear, faint sounds that I could barely make out.
Other than the words I love you, that, I felt without a doubt.
She easily moved everything around me, from the tallest trees to the smallest blades of grass.
But it all stopped suddenly, so I sit here pondering and I ask,
"Where did my wind go? Why did it have to go by so fast?
I've contemplated plans of capture to perfection, baiting a kite for the next...
Her presence touched every inch of me, from my head down to my feet.
She whispered in my ear, faint sounds that I could barely make out.
Other than the words I love you, that, I felt without a doubt.
She easily moved everything around me, from the tallest trees to the smallest blades of grass.
But it all stopped suddenly, so I sit here pondering and I ask,
"Where did my wind go? Why did it have to go by so fast?
I've contemplated plans of capture to perfection, baiting a kite for the next...
#IMissYou
#LongDistanceRelationship
#love
#relationships
#separation
37 reads
0 Comments
Marilyn
pretty litte clown, smiling for you through the tears
you can't see them but my soul is drowning
sorrow persuades me to stay
gentle feeling, I'm in love
little affection, you don't need me
so I play my part
looking good for your dark
tender meaning, I play dumb so you look smart
please see me struggling, just to breathe
feeling abandoned and alone
my voice strangled, I can't say what I feel
you just want me to look good
deeper feeling I feel too much
you think I'm crazy
that I need to be...
you can't see them but my soul is drowning
sorrow persuades me to stay
gentle feeling, I'm in love
little affection, you don't need me
so I play my part
looking good for your dark
tender meaning, I play dumb so you look smart
please see me struggling, just to breathe
feeling abandoned and alone
my voice strangled, I can't say what I feel
you just want me to look good
deeper feeling I feel too much
you think I'm crazy
that I need to be...
#love
#sadness
42 reads
0 Comments
For the Guest of Honor
#anger
#breakup
#grief
#heartbroken
#UnrequitedLove
37 reads
3 Comments
Liquid Fire
Liquid fire flows through my veins
A passion ignited my dead heart
The internal drum pulsating across my body
A living canvas painting out my life story
With my lifeblood that I willingly sacrifice
To offer to the stars above.
A passion ignited my dead heart
The internal drum pulsating across my body
A living canvas painting out my life story
With my lifeblood that I willingly sacrifice
To offer to the stars above.
#love
#lust
#passion #sensual
#passion #sensual
68 reads
2 Comments
Meanwhile Down Here on Earth
There is a new light shining in the distance
Over in the southern celestial hemisphere
The scales of fate seem to weigh in balance
Welcoming a new presence
Meanwhile down here on earth
Broken hearts
and watery eyes fixate on Libra
The constellation has given birth
As stargazers wonder and watch in awe
Replete with love the spirit is lifted
Words and verse become memories and memoirs
For in the great beyond out in the universe
She has completed her journey to the stars
Over in the southern celestial hemisphere
The scales of fate seem to weigh in balance
Welcoming a new presence
Meanwhile down here on earth
Broken hearts
and watery eyes fixate on Libra
The constellation has given birth
As stargazers wonder and watch in awe
Replete with love the spirit is lifted
Words and verse become memories and memoirs
For in the great beyond out in the universe
She has completed her journey to the stars
#death
#grief
#universe
64 reads
3 Comments
Queen of my Heart
Blessed are the flowers that bloom in your hair
Fed by the warmness from your heart full of care
The moonlight beams down, and your soul shines
The stars are twinkling, and I know this is a sign.
An otherworldly gift has been presented to me
A beautiful expression of heavenly art
This precious gift has set my soul free
A Princess; the Queen of my heart.
Fed by the warmness from your heart full of care
The moonlight beams down, and your soul shines
The stars are twinkling, and I know this is a sign.
An otherworldly gift has been presented to me
A beautiful expression of heavenly art
This precious gift has set my soul free
A Princess; the Queen of my heart.
#admiration
#beauty
#love #rhyming
#love #rhyming
65 reads
4 Comments
The Man With The Bass Guitar
Hello there,
Perfect Mr. Stranger
Don't mean to sound corny
But was that you walking in my dreams
Playing on my mind
With tight strings
Deep cords
Sweet symphony
Your aura exudes vitality
You're everything I want in me
Read that again
You are everything
I want in me
The moment we locked eyes
I felt something,
Something smooth
Like the rhythm to my favorite song
Emencely satisfying
Hearing you create those vibrations
With the tip of your fingers
And the biting of your lips ...
Perfect Mr. Stranger
Don't mean to sound corny
But was that you walking in my dreams
Playing on my mind
With tight strings
Deep cords
Sweet symphony
Your aura exudes vitality
You're everything I want in me
Read that again
You are everything
I want in me
The moment we locked eyes
I felt something,
Something smooth
Like the rhythm to my favorite song
Emencely satisfying
Hearing you create those vibrations
With the tip of your fingers
And the biting of your lips ...
#admiration
#FallingInLove
#music
46 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Love Poems and Poetry Seeking Critique about Heartbreak, Lost Love and Relationship Problems