Love Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poetry about lost love, heartbreak and relationship problems
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Whispers Of Validation
A gifted lover who uses emotions as a bargaining chip.
Tenacious in his grieving of a relationship that had so much potential.
A thick black book what holds the libido of lovers clinged together at a most unholy hour is his collection of conquests.
She would gladly borrow virginity if it meant a commitment on his part.
I've looked into the eyes of a promise I never meant and I can feel it's consequences creeping up as I prepare for the end of this journey.
Tenacious in his grieving of a relationship that had so much potential.
A thick black book what holds the libido of lovers clinged together at a most unholy hour is his collection of conquests.
She would gladly borrow virginity if it meant a commitment on his part.
I've looked into the eyes of a promise I never meant and I can feel it's consequences creeping up as I prepare for the end of this journey.
#rejection
#heartbroken
#emptiness
21 reads
3 Comments
Unfinished without You
Winter approaches
Autumn illustrious
Nothing better
Given the chance
To come home to you …
Autumn illustrious
Nothing better
Given the chance
To come home to you …
#love
#winter
#fall #minimalist
#fall #minimalist
47 reads
10 Comments
Leaving Las Vegas
Its times like this, that I remember you ..
Like the time I finally figured out what the hell
You were talking about when you said I was
you're Elizabeth Shue.
Everything has become tangled, trashed, and
mangled.
Our love has been choked up, snuffed out
and strangled.
These emotions have become some what
Of a danger... a little evil anger From a familiar stranger .
The memories play on repeat, again and
again
Songs of our distant laughter
Are now deafening echos of a love long lost
in my head
Snatched away from me, ...
Like the time I finally figured out what the hell
You were talking about when you said I was
you're Elizabeth Shue.
Everything has become tangled, trashed, and
mangled.
Our love has been choked up, snuffed out
and strangled.
These emotions have become some what
Of a danger... a little evil anger From a familiar stranger .
The memories play on repeat, again and
again
Songs of our distant laughter
Are now deafening echos of a love long lost
in my head
Snatched away from me, ...
#depression
26 reads
2 Comments
I've seen you
I've seen you
Before
in the times
They tell as lore
We gathered crystals in the mists
To the rumble of dragons roars,
We've danced in ballrooms stolen
from Emirs, Czars, and Kings,
We were even peasants once
Real gritty ones too
And turned our noses up at gold things
Timeless in a lovely little forest
Filled with spiders web and gloom
I wrote you spells and incantations
And you sang them to the moon
Another moonless night
we both were thieves
In an Arabian cave
We were caught but we fought
And...
Before
in the times
They tell as lore
We gathered crystals in the mists
To the rumble of dragons roars,
We've danced in ballrooms stolen
from Emirs, Czars, and Kings,
We were even peasants once
Real gritty ones too
And turned our noses up at gold things
Timeless in a lovely little forest
Filled with spiders web and gloom
I wrote you spells and incantations
And you sang them to the moon
Another moonless night
we both were thieves
In an Arabian cave
We were caught but we fought
And...
#love
#spiritual
28 reads
1 Comment
Glow
Inside the colors I fade into black
disturbed by the crowd
I glow out of place
in the shadows...glitter
It is my nature that appeals to you
secreting the best of me away
Hidden child of understanding
shyly smiling up at you
They call you Father
I call out daddy lift me up
the shade of their scorn chills
Quiety appraised by the many dimensions of you
I must remember
they are refracted reflections of yourself
If I am berated it is with your knowledge
you sit back and watch to see how I'll handle...
disturbed by the crowd
I glow out of place
in the shadows...glitter
It is my nature that appeals to you
secreting the best of me away
Hidden child of understanding
shyly smiling up at you
They call you Father
I call out daddy lift me up
the shade of their scorn chills
Quiety appraised by the many dimensions of you
I must remember
they are refracted reflections of yourself
If I am berated it is with your knowledge
you sit back and watch to see how I'll handle...
#love
#father
#spiritual
49 reads
6 Comments
I still know you
I know the coffee shop you go to every day
And I know the spot you sit by the window.
I know that late afternoon is your gym time
And I know you probably argued with your mum
about her chaotic instagram posts.
I know that you feel every emotion
more than normal people.
And I know that you love hard and fully.
I know you tell your friends you are fine
And I know they think you’re better off now.
It’s weird to act like I don’t know you
When in fact I know you more than you know
I know your smile lines, and how your face ...
And I know the spot you sit by the window.
I know that late afternoon is your gym time
And I know you probably argued with your mum
about her chaotic instagram posts.
I know that you feel every emotion
more than normal people.
And I know that you love hard and fully.
I know you tell your friends you are fine
And I know they think you’re better off now.
It’s weird to act like I don’t know you
When in fact I know you more than you know
I know your smile lines, and how your face ...
#love
#forgiveness
31 reads
0 Comments
Abba
neediness of soul it's always been so
a wild child of faith left alone
your voice I heard above all else
I didn't know I was lonely
because you were there
you filled the gap when I was little
there was no void
you witness my first steps
uttering step out Brenda
it will be okay if you fall
no one else was there to observe
to give me courage
my milestones went unnoticed by humanity
my baby book was yours to keep
you were my mother, father and creator
you wanted me for yourself
I didn't take to...
a wild child of faith left alone
your voice I heard above all else
I didn't know I was lonely
because you were there
you filled the gap when I was little
there was no void
you witness my first steps
uttering step out Brenda
it will be okay if you fall
no one else was there to observe
to give me courage
my milestones went unnoticed by humanity
my baby book was yours to keep
you were my mother, father and creator
you wanted me for yourself
I didn't take to...
#love
#mother
#father #childhood
#father #childhood
48 reads
8 Comments
How far can you throw
Sometimes it's cold here
embers white burning
musty smell cold dark hole
how deep do you dig
through the clay and shale rock
how deep do you dig
til you find your way home
out the front door
sun over my shoulder
ball flying high
up to the sky
hey
come out and have a catch
sorry just don't have the time ...
embers white burning
musty smell cold dark hole
how deep do you dig
through the clay and shale rock
how deep do you dig
til you find your way home
out the front door
sun over my shoulder
ball flying high
up to the sky
hey
come out and have a catch
sorry just don't have the time ...
#happiness
#hope
#home
#redemption
#success
191 reads
0 Comments
Rose Color Glasses
Viewing the world through rose color glasses
looking for the positive through the dark
let me dream, my dream
Quietly observing beauty as she blushes
touching the day so not to disturb
I am happiest in my reverie
Serene in the notion everyone is beautiful in their own way
even me within my lonely view
I study humanity with kindness
sometimes it peers into me
wondering what manner of being I am
shh, please don't wake me
looking for the positive through the dark
let me dream, my dream
Quietly observing beauty as she blushes
touching the day so not to disturb
I am happiest in my reverie
Serene in the notion everyone is beautiful in their own way
even me within my lonely view
I study humanity with kindness
sometimes it peers into me
wondering what manner of being I am
shh, please don't wake me
#love
#beauty
58 reads
4 Comments
Daunting
The effect of sadness on the soul is daunting
painful realizations make the being keen so deep
there seems no returning
repressed emotions so vicious
Masochistic redemption in the need of it
it pains me to say I crave this type of affection
The imbued desire speaks lust into being
am I so lost to the feeling I can't just give in?
Picking up the proverbial blade to strike
My tongue sharper than most
prepared to provoke a feeling
Love and hate so entralled with each other
we inflict sorrowful honesties
Then...
painful realizations make the being keen so deep
there seems no returning
repressed emotions so vicious
Masochistic redemption in the need of it
it pains me to say I crave this type of affection
The imbued desire speaks lust into being
am I so lost to the feeling I can't just give in?
Picking up the proverbial blade to strike
My tongue sharper than most
prepared to provoke a feeling
Love and hate so entralled with each other
we inflict sorrowful honesties
Then...
#love
#hate
48 reads
2 Comments
Lovers Paradise
Every day and every night.
I fantasise of you.
Making love to you.
Your glance excites every part of my being. Your kisses electrifies me.
Each kiss revitalises my spirit.
My soul.
The essence of you being you.
I love it.
I adore it.
I desire it.
I want to cater to your deepest needs.
Be of service to you.
Let me water your seeds.
Fertilise my mind with your knowledge, sacredness and power.
My beloved
Eme nga ku zola
I praise the most...
I fantasise of you.
Making love to you.
Your glance excites every part of my being. Your kisses electrifies me.
Each kiss revitalises my spirit.
My soul.
The essence of you being you.
I love it.
I adore it.
I desire it.
I want to cater to your deepest needs.
Be of service to you.
Let me water your seeds.
Fertilise my mind with your knowledge, sacredness and power.
My beloved
Eme nga ku zola
I praise the most...
#breakup
#beauty
#admiration
#MovingOn
#FirstLove
44 reads
0 Comments
Stuart's Voice
Stuart's voice sounds like a garbage disposal;
like metal grinding metal.
Razor blades perhaps.
Decades ago,
when we were a couple,
Stuart's voice was carbonated lemon juice
a trace of sweetness,
sour in a fun way.
Now his strained vocalizations cut my ears.
I'm glad.
I'm glad because I wouldn't want to hear that voice every day.
I'm glad because now I don't want to be with him.
It would have been complicated,
his beautiful wife not going anywhere.
Stuart takes more and more vacations alone.
The more I...
like metal grinding metal.
Razor blades perhaps.
Decades ago,
when we were a couple,
Stuart's voice was carbonated lemon juice
a trace of sweetness,
sour in a fun way.
Now his strained vocalizations cut my ears.
I'm glad.
I'm glad because I wouldn't want to hear that voice every day.
I'm glad because now I don't want to be with him.
It would have been complicated,
his beautiful wife not going anywhere.
Stuart takes more and more vacations alone.
The more I...
#love
#relationships
#friendship #nostalgia
#friendship #nostalgia
38 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Love Poems and Poetry Seeking Critique about Heartbreak, Lost Love and Relationship Problems