lingering

write about a thought, a memory, a day, a person, just something that always seems in the back of your mind regardless of what else is flopping about in there.

please try not to make it too epic, reading the entirety of your life story is much less interesting than you think it is. only post one entry, and it can be a previously written poem if you want.
otherwise, go for it, be creative, whatever.

good luck. may the subjectively best poem win.

CLICK  

I’m loading the washing machine
There’s a violent click
I am 6 years old
The cigarette sizzles and hisses
As it is stubbed out on my back
The bath water sloshed helps
But another one lit – repeat
I don’t scream loudly
I have learned not to
I scream through gritted teeth
And pray for it to stop
There’s a violent click
And I’m back in the room
Still loading the washing machine

I am setting the table for dinner
There’s a violent click
I am nine years old
I am forcibly draped over
A communion table
Men of the cloth and others
Take turns getting off
The madness feels endless
I do not scream loudly
It has never helped
I painfully grin and bare it
And pray for it to stop
There’s a violent click
I am back in the room
Shaken not stirred

I am watching a television comedy show
There’s a violent click
I am eleven years old
I got caught stealing today
The beating is coming
Oh god! It’s here
I am kicked and punched
Up and down the hallway
Dragged outside by the hair
Locked in the coal cellar
Black and blue and bleeding
I do not scream out
Why scream for more beatings
I whimper like a kicked dog
I pray for the pain to stop
I pray to get out of the darkness
There’s a violent click
I am back in the room
The show is over

The memories that linger
Like a background singer
I can easily deal with them
As a victim I can condemn
But the PTSD click
I cannot un-stick
It’s like being back in that place
And being forced to face
The fear and all of the pain
A pain clearly with no gain
There’s a violent click
I can’t write any more

Your Aura

Let me just linger in that sweet scent of you
That real palpable atmosphere I feel near you
In an everlasting surpassing dream like state
The perfume on your skin makes me elevate

As if to levitate it sends me off to fantasize
With vivid images of inquisitive lustful eyes
The trace of the aroma that you left behind
Is the grace of your aura embedded in my mind

I'm liking these entries. They are giving me lots to think about.

Set me free

I never thought you'd leave..
My love,
When you left,
You took a piece of me..
I can't let go..
Set me free,
I can't let go of your brown eyes,
Or the way you smiled,
I was a puzzle,
And you were my missing piece,
But then I fell apart,
And you didn't catch me.
My love,
Please..
I can't breathe.
Brown eyes,
And a killer smile.
My love,
I don't see me.
I don't know what I've become,
Set me free.

Leave me.
Easy the way you talk to me now real sleazy
Have no urges to see me.
Ignoring my messages, they say delivered not read.
Your voice stays running through my head.
And you go and flirt with all your man instead.
Prayed everyday cause I felt blessed
You were the only thing that had me completely obsessed.
Left with no rest, disgraced with the thought of your lips on mine perfectly pressed.
I wish I could erase the taste...
You were the only thing that could have me in my place.
We were so close even my shadow got phased.
Surprised to find out you had another face.
Eyebrows started to raise.
Hypocritical state
I don't want to be a part of another debate; This was suppose to be fate
I guess that's just what you let my mind create.
I wish you would've stayed.
Just cause we're in Miami and all these palms trees in the way You really don't have to be throwing all that shade.
Somewhat made my confidence fade.
Now I'm left with eternal sadness and rage
"What she doesn't know can't hurt her."
The motto in your messed-up mind
Tears keep blocking my vision I guess that's why they say love is blind.
They have some type of spell over you like a sorcerer.
I know to see them is fucking torture
Something like a diabetic with a sweet tooth
You're living proof of my lyrical truth.
You're sky high
Blown out of proportion
With the loudest silent cries
That booming noiseless commotion
I feel myself shaking.
It's heartbreaking.
Wrong words stumble out your mouth
You stutter.
No escaping
Maybe it is you.
Got some problems within your lifetime
The painful stories I know that lie adrift in your eyes
So you laugh and joke so hard that you cry
When deep inside you're just wanting to die
Don't you dare tell me you're fine
Sigh
Because I don't want to say goodbye
All I thought was that I didn't satisfy.
But look at where we stand
Don't know if someone's holding your hand.
I'll be damned.
Better keep one rolled
They say the unexpected shows up rude and bold.

The Voices In My Head

I can hear it every time
When I'm awake or in my bed
Words I can't pretend not to hear
These negative voices in my head

When a chance presents itself
And I see a goal to score
Just when I decide to go for it
The enthusiasm is there no more

For these voices come again
With a thousand reasons for me to see
Why I shouldn't make the move
Cause it'll be an effort in futility

Indeed for once I did ignore
The voices like a siren wailing
Trying to discourage me yet again
But I gave that voice no hearing

Alas it seemed the voice was right
The voice was true on every word
I never yielded to its submission
And my effort was left without reward

Yet I just want to approach life
Like every normal person out there
But with these negative voices in my head
My every move is doomed to fear

"Unconditional"

No matter
Place or time or weather,
Like a ghost with attachment disorder

I'll be close to you...

Like blood on the blade
Van Goghs irises in a Tiffany vase,
Bread abd butter with marmalade

I'll be close to you ...

A wax slicked wick
Like wine rivulets sliding down your lips,
Linens sewn with sweat & secrets

I'll be close to you ...

Dawn dew kissing tulips  
Plush beach sand your toes whisper & sift,
Like bones sleeping in a cript

I'll be close to you ...

No matter
Time or place or weather,
Like a ghost with attachment disorder

I'll be close to you.

You see my face,but can't decipher
A blank slate
You invade my space
While dismissed without ceremony
Tail between your legs
Wondering why a nuisance like you
Is unworthy of my company?
Wanting to know "Whats up?"
Cause you don't see whats going down,
On the sides, above your head
Behind your back
In your face
But who cares,
Life? Is just a Monet,right?
A painted hologram of happiness
You take it,no question
Satisfied being in denial,
Rather glide in gold grime
Than dive,in a lucid lake
Ok.Thats your coin toss
Your choice to make,
So don't expect to join hands
In your leprechaun philosophy
Really? Speaking freely?
Stating for the record to show
Since you didn't receive
The memo:
I can't tolerate phoniness
Nor sincere pettiness
Patience starting to quake,
Like a rash ready to break
So make no mistake ,
Im itching with vexation
& no this isn't some
Dramatic exaggeration,
Im just allergic to Bullshit:
Fossilized, Metaphoric
Real life or Fictional,
Public or Domestic
Lyrical or Political so,
Is it beginning to calculate
How the odds differentiate?
Pretty obvious, don't have to
Be a Genius
The points been made:
Why even try having this conversation in the first place?  

I sent you postcards


I
counted
every
second
of
those
six
months
as
if
each
one
would
be
my
last

the
echos
of my
silent
screams
rang out
like
mission
bells
driving my desire
to
kiss
the
razer
blade
like
a
long
lost
lover

&
time
stood
still
to
keep
watch
for
me
just
in
case
you
called
but
you
never
did

i've
gotten
used
to
the
sound
of
wet
skin
on
rubber
I sent
you
post
cards
written
in
semen
&
blood
....tell
me
did
you
read
them

~mirage~

the void
you left  
is unavoidably
filled by the
pieces shattered
and scattered
leading the path
following you...

an ignorance
reflects back
as acceptance
a mere phantasm
teasing me

I know...

I just chose
to follow the
mirage...